The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense
by Metal Sonic EX
Summary: The Random Megaman Parody Show returns for its' second season! Now featuring the Command Mission cast, crossover parodies, and the Battle Network series! [Complete]
1. Season Premiere

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

Okay, if you read the summary, you'll know the new additions. This chapter won't be the season premiere, but the five series getting ready for it. So, here goes! Let's get this show on the road!!

* * *

Prologue

Preparing For The Worst

* * *

MSX - I'm sure you're wanting to see the season premiere. Well, you're not going to. Why? 'Cause I'm an evil bastard and I said so! So, nyah! Anyways, this season will be completely uncensored. Meaning anyone at any given time can say fuck, fuckity fuck, or fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Why? Because I captured and killed the FCC. Evil bastards. I hope they fucking burn in hell. Now, let's begin…

Announcer - We now return you to the second season of The Random Megaman Parody Show, already in progress.

Everyone Else - …OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Zero (X) - You evil bastard!

MSX - Tell me something I don't know. Anyways, the second season will begin filming in…

(MSX looks at the clock and sees that it reads '11:00 P.M')

MSX - Now.

Glyde (BN) - What?! Well, I hardly think that we're ready.

Massimo - We don't even know our lines!

MSX - You're right. Half an hour. Max. -walks away-

(A long pause follows.)

Marino - He _is_ evil.

X - Told you.

Clyde - Hi, I'm Clyde. I like potatoes. And I'm also MSX's agent.

Zero (Zero) - I thought you were Jesus.

(Clyde looks around nervously.)

Clyde - Anyways, here are your scripts and I'll see you in… -looks at clock- twenty-seven minutes. -walks off-

X - We'd better get going.

Announcer - One half an hour later…

MSX - Well, did you speed-read through most of it.

Axl - Actually, we just scanned the script into our heads and made up the rest.

MSX - Great! Then let's get started!

Roll (Classic) - But… This is the prologue…

(MSX punches through another plaster wall.)

MSX - I know. But I'm evil like that. Onward!

(The group goes to the set and takes their places.)

MSX - Aaaaand… Action!

* * *

Parody #1

Season Premiere

Whose Line Is It Anyway? Parody

By: All five series

* * *

Mega Man.EXE - Hello and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? And here's today's cast. A few cards short of a bridge tournament, Classic Megaman!

(Megaman waves.)

Mega Man.EXE - A few chili dogs short of a Coney Island, X!

(X nods.)

Mega Man.EXE - A few fat people short of a Richard Simmons video, Trigger!

(Trigger gives the peace sign.)

Mega Man.EXE - And, a few more drinks couldn't hurt, Zero!

(Zero looks at Mega Man.EXE angrily.)

Mega Man.EXE - And I'm Megaman from the Battle Network series and I'm your host. Come on down and have some fun!

(Mega Man.EXE goes down to his desk and sits down.)

Mega Man.EXE - Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway where the points don't matter. That's right. The point's are like Wily's next world domination scheme.

(Wily gives Mega Man.EXE the finger.)

Mega Man.EXE - This episode will be jam-packed with sped, ecstasy, and buttloads of crack cocaine. So, let's get this show on the road. The first game is called Superheroes and it is for everybody.

(X walks into the center of the stage and the other three walk to the side.)

Mega Man.EXE - Now, X will start and name the next person to come in and so on. Now, we need a name.

Roll (Legends) - Constantly Nausiated Man!

Glyde (Battle Network) - The ADD Wonder!

Dr. Light - Can't Stop Crapping Boy!

Mega Man.EXE - You're choices suck. I'm going with my own. You are Can't Depict Left From Right Dude. And, the story is X is in his secret hideout located in his living room when the dog pees on the couch. And begin!

(X looks down.)

X - Not again!

(X walks right and off stage.)

X - Fido? Fido! Where'd you go?

(X turns around.)

X - There you are!

(X walks back to center stage as Classic Megaman jumps in.)

Megaman - I got your mess… Whoa! That is messy.

X - Thank God you made it… Hand Magnetically Attaches To Crotch Man…

(Megaman laughs, as does the audience.)

Megaman - Hi!

(Megaman waves and grabs X's crotch.)

Megaman - So, how do you want to do this? -grabs his crotch-

X - Let's get the Febreeze.

Trigger - Howdy do… doo on the carpet!

X - Not again!

Megaman - Alright! It's Mouth Overdosed On Novocaine Boy!

(Trigger scoffs and loosens his jaw.)

Trigger - -flopping jaw- How are you… I just got back from the dentist… -flops cheeks around-

Megaman - I got the Febreeze! -grabs Trigger's crotch-

Trigger - Oh no!

Zero - Hey. There's pee on your couch.

X - I know.

Trigger - It's… the… um… uh… The Constantly Stuttering Wonder… I guess…

(Zero gets that 'Come on!' look and shrugs.)

Zero - H-H-H-Hey g-g-g-guys! I th-th-th-think that I kkkknow how t-t-t-to c-c-c-clean this mmmmess.

Megaman - Hi!

(Megaman waves and drops his hand to his side. He stands that way until the audience laughs. Zero gets that crazy look in his eye.)

Zero - Screw this sh-sh-sh-shit! I'm oooout of here! B-B-B-B-B-Buttholes! -walks of screen-

Trigger - Done! Here's your Febreeze back. -hands X nonexistent bottle- I've got to talk with my lawyer. It's about time we had a talk about my dentist. -leaves-

Megaman - Well, all is well. So… Bye! -grabs X's crotch, then leaves-

X - Well, I could go for a beer. -walks left, stops, then walk offstage to the right-

(The audience claps as the buzzer sounds and the four people take their seats.)

Mega Man.EXE - 200 points to Classic Megaman for being a good sport and grabbing everyone's crotch. Now, the next game is called Film, TV, and Theatre Styles and it is for everyone.

(Everyone walks up.)

Mega Man.EXE - We've already asked the audience and I will tell you to act out the scene using a random style. The scene is Classic Megaman is on a suicide mission to defeat the latest trio of Robot Masters, played by X, Trigger, and Zero. And go!

Megaman - This is bizarre. Not a single Robot Master in sight.

X - Blam!

Trigger - Bam!

Zero - Kazaam!

Megaman - My God!

X - We.

Trigger - Are.

Zero - Sped Man!

Mega Man.EXE - Sports!

(X, Trigger, and Zero suddenly huddle.)

X - Okay, you guys know the play?

Trigger - Yep.

Zero -Not really.

X - Go. Let's get this guy.

(The trio line up like a football team.)

X - Hut!

(The group is interrupted in half-charge.)

Mega Man.EXE - Kids Show.

Megaman - Oh no! I'll use the cheesiest possible attack! Hyah!

(Megaman swings his arm like he's gay.)

Megaman - Bang! You're all knocked out! And now, I'll recite my alphabet for no reason! A. B. C. D. E…

Mega Man.EXE - Old Prospector.

Megaman - I. E. I. O. Guess what?

Trigger - What?

Megaman - Der be gold in dem mines!

X - No way!

Zero - Well, dagnabit! We'd better go and get some 'for everyone else steals it!

Mega Man.EXE - Ew. Swedish Porn.

Zero - Yah. I know I am sexy. Don't deny it.

X - Oh, yah. You very sexy in the sexy way.

Mega Man.EXE - This is creepy, so let's go to Shakespeare.

X - I am, however, lying through my teeth, with the hardest enamel and shiniest smile.

Trigger - Change this thine subject 'fore I blow my brains all overith this, thine floor.

Mega Man.EXE - I see we have horrible Shakespeares here. So, South Park.

Megaman - This is gonna be so easy. I've done this already!

X - Holy shit, man!

Trigger - I've go no fuckin' arms or legs. I don't even have a fuckin' neck!

Mega Man.EXE - Blacksploitation.

X - What the fuck is that?

Mega Man.EXE - A movie where the cast is mainly or completely African-American.

Megaman - Well, ya see dawg, I can do Blacksploitation 'cause I was born naturally black.

Bass - -from audience- Like shit you were!

Megaman - Oh, it's on, nigga!

(Megaman and Bass act like they shoot each other until the buzzer sounds. Everyone sits down and Mega Man.EXE shakes his head.)

Mega Man.EXE - 100 points to X and Zero for being cool. Next is Questions Only for everyone.

(Everyone walks to the stage.)

Mega Man.EXE - The scene is Megaman is on a plane when a terrorist, Trigger, threatens to blow up the plane. And go!

Megaman - Why is this ride so boring?

Trigger - Who thinks America should fall?

Megaman - What?

Trigger - Down with America!

(The buzzer sounds and Zero takes his place.)

Zero - Where is the captain?

Megaman - Have you checked the cockpit?

Zero - Is he in there?

Megaman - I dunno.

(Megaman swaps with X.)

Zero - Who are you?

X - Why?

Zero - What?

X - Why?

Zero - Why do you keep saying why?

X - Why?

Zero - Why can't you tell me?

X - Why?

Zero - Are you retarded or something?

X - Why?

Zero - Did I ask you?

X - Why?

Zero - Do you want me to blow up this plane?

X - Why not?

(Zero shakes his head and walks off. X dunks his hand and Trigger walks up.)

X - Are you a terrorist?

Trigger - Can't you see the bomb?

X - Can't you see the policeman standing behind you?

Trigger - What?

(Trigger acts like he's hit by a nightstick as the buzzer sounds. Everyone takes their seats.)

Mega Man.EXE - 150 points for Trigger for being hit with a nightstick and negative 150 points for X for being a little bitch and continuously asking why. Now, this game is called Props. X and Trigger will be one team while Megaman and Zero are on the other. Now, you must come up with as many different things as you can with your prop. And go!

(X pulls out a giant foam replica of Sigma's head. He looks at Trigger while holding it to his own head.)

X - Rhananana… Ass-chin. Rhananana.

(The buzzer sounds and Zero pulls out a bizarre, penis-shaped foam object. He puts it to his crotch.)

Zero - Do you know what they say about people with long hair?

(The buzzer sounds. The foam head is on the ground with X and Trigger looking at it.)

Trigger - Well, he's dead. Again.

X - In a few seconds, he should transform into a slightly harder boss or something like that.

(The buzzer sounds and both Megaman and Zero are looking at the penis thing, which is on the ground.)

Megaman - So, NASA's budget _is_ running low.

(The buzzer sounds as X picks up the head and inspects it.)

X - Why? Why is this always what's left of Sigma? Why?!

(The buzzer sounds and Megaman picks up the penis thing by the rod.)

Megaman - By the new Bonkertron 300 for all of your bonking needs! -bonks Zero-

(The buzzer sounds several times and the props are replaced. Everyone takes their seats.)

Mega Man.EXE - 200 points to everyone and an extra 50 to Megaman for coming up with the Bonkertron 3000 and 75 to X for asking the age-old question. Now, for those of you keeping track of the points, get a life!

(The audience laughs.)

Mega Man.EXE - The next game is for everyone. This one is called Party Quirks. Megaman will be throwing the party and he must guess what everyone else is.

(Trigger laughs and shakes his head after reading his card.)

Mega Man.EXE - So, when you're ready, begin.

Megaman - Okay, got chips. Punch. Faygo. Goat. I'm good to go. This is gonna be the best Bar Mitzvah ever! -doorbell rings- Ah, the guests!

(Megaman opens the nonexistent door and 'Doctor Kevorkian' appears at the bottom of the screen. The audience laughs.)

X - Tell me of your troubles.

Megaman - Oh! Um, well… I've got a goat here. Don't know how it got in.

X - I know, my son. There is only one answer to your problem. Suicide. I'll be right back.

(X walks off as the doorbell rings.)

Megaman - I'll answer the door as soon as Dr. Kevorkian leaves.

(The bell dings.)

X - Okay, I'm back and I'm not acting. Now, drink this whole bottle of poison and see me in a few days.

(X hands Megaman a bottle of rat poison before taking his seat.)

Megaman - Okay. -sets rat poison aside- Bizarre.

(Megaman opens the door and Trigger is hunched over and squinting. 'Hallucinating Old Man' appears at the bottom of the screen. The audience laughs.)

Trigger - Ugh… Thank you, Mr. Gopher-Duck thing. Ah! Why is there an elephant here?

Megaman - That's the punch bowl. -doorbell rings- Excuse me.

(Megaman answers the door as 'Has Split Personality' appears at the bottom of the screen. No one laughs and Zero gives them the finger.)

Zero - -normally- Hi. I'm Zero. -angrily- Who are you?! Tell me who you are! -softly- Oh, I'm sorry. Did I scare you? Poor thing. -specially- Who wants cake?!

Megaman - I am officially scared.

Trigger - I'm always scared. Why is there a statue of Paul Bunyan riding a giraffe in the middle of the room?

Megaman - First, I think the hallucinating old man needs to leave.

(The bell dings.)

Megaman - Now, who are you?

Zero - I-I-I-I-I-I'm Z-Z-Z-Z-Zero! -demonically- Who wants to know?!

Megaman - I'm drawing a blank. He seems pretty normal.

Zero - -homosexually- You're an asshole. -violently- And… I… am… the greatest… thing… to ever… come out of… a… CRACKER JACK BOX!! -roars-

Megaman - Oh. Split personality.

(The bell dings and both people take there seats.)

Mega Man.EXE - 100 points to Zero for being excellent at the split personality thing and 150 points to Trigger for being a funny, old man. The next game is called Number of Words and it's for everyone. Now, you must act out a scene using only your predetermined amount of words. Now, Megaman must talk with one word, X with four, Trigger with two, and Zero with one-hundred and twenty-five.

Zero - What how do you expect me to do that it's just not right I mean I can't talk like that without popping a vein or having an ulcer or a heart attack or a stroke are you sure you're reading that card right I mean are you sure I'm not supposed to have five or six or seven or maybe even eight words 'cause I can do with and I am started to run out of air here and I know that 'cause my face is turning blue and I can't keep this up for much longer 'cause my lungs seem fit to burst and I am slowly running out of oxygen oh my God this is exhausting I think that I am gonna die!! -_deeply_ inhales-

Mega Man.EXE - Damn. Anyways, I misread the card and it's actually ten words.

Zero - Words can't describe how much I hate you right now.

Mega Man.EXE - Excellent start! Begin!

X - What's the scenario?

Mega Man.EXE - Oh, right! The scenario is… um… you're talking about this new season of The Random Megaman Parody Show.

Megaman - Cool.

Trigger - Very cool.

X - I think that it's bullshit.

Zero - You lucky bastards have it of easy, but not me.

Megaman - Bummer.

Trigger - I wonder…

X - What are you thinking about?

Trigger - Second Offense.

Megaman - Sucks.

Zero - I think that the show should have been canceled… kumquat!

Megaman - Word.

Trigger - Totally blows.

X - MSX is a major douchebag.

Megaman - Yep.

Zero - One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!

Megaman - Pussy.

X - Zero's a long-haired pansy.

Megaman - Totally.

Trigger - I agree.

(The buzzer sounds and everyone takes their seats.)

Mega Man.EXE - 200 points to Zero for saying a one hundred and twenty-five word sentence. Now, this next game is Greatest Hits. Trigger and Megaman are trying to sell a record of some sort while X and Zero sing out the songs. The record is Songs of the Evil Genius. Go!

Megaman - We'll return to Lassie Vs. Kujo in a moment, but first, the evil genius has long since been viewed as stupid, idiotic, and usually very old. But, we are here to sell you their greatest songs. Songs of the Evil Genius will be the investment you make this week!

Trigger - Everyone knows that techno is associated with the Nintendo Entertainment System and the NES is associated with Megaman and Megaman is associated with old people. So, included on the disc is Wily's own personal hit… Damn That Megaman! Damn Him To Hell!

(Techno music starts playing.)

X - Yeah. My name is Wily. I'm old, but I kick ass.

When I fight Megaman, I always come out last!

And when I lose, I curse that prick. All I have to say is… Well…

Damn that Megaman! Damn him to Hell!

Zero - Yeah. I'm Wily too. The first man to be cloned!

When _I_ fight Megaman, I'm pretty boned.

But I've got one secret that I don't like to tell

and that's that I curse Megaman. Damn him to Hell!

(The music stops.)

Trigger - I do not recall that second Wily when I heard the song.

Megaman - Nor do I. Now, when it comes to the crazies, the ass-chins know best. And Sigma, being one of the biggest ass-chins there is, put one of his own songs on here. That song is… The Ballad of Flame Hyenard… I guess…

(Country music starts playing.)

Zero - I wanted to come with an annoying Maverick.

So I took fire and a bunch of random parts.

I took a break and killed thousands of people

And afterwards I stole their hearts.

X - I put them together and just like that

I'd created a monster and I got a feeling that I was sinking.

Yeah, I made Flame Hyenard.

What the fuck was I thinking?

(The music stops and the audience applauds.)

Trigger - That song was number one on the charts for about five minutes.

Megaman - And for good reason. I hate country music. Now, Teasel Bonne is the definition of evil. Not so much genius though.

Trigger - Nonetheless, his number one hit single, I'll Get That Blue Boy, is one this disc.

(Rap music starts playing.)

X - That bastard Trigger. Him and his monkey.

I think that his weapons are all kind of funky.

I hate it when my crap comes out chunky.

Now, let's try out my new toy.

Zero - What? Beaten already? Dammit!

Why, that damned Megaman can just cram it!

If something online sucks, I say blam it!

I'll get that blue boy!

(The music stops.)

Trigger - I don't recall the part about the crap.

Megaman - Neither do I. Anyways, another song is from Omega, the cheap rip-off that looks like X. So, on this disc is a song about Omega. It's called… Fuck The World!

(Rock music starts playing.)

Zero - Why do I look like X? Who gives a shit!

Why, I might just have to bring back Byte and Bit.

Why? Don't know. I just felt like coming up

with something that rhymed with… cup…

X - Never mind my stupid half

Why, like this, I could… slaughter a calf…

Anyways, I've got one motto around which… I've… curled?

And that is a great motto. Fuck the world!

(The rock music stops. The buzzer sounds and everyone takes their seats.)

Mega Man.EXE - Well, that's five hundred dollars for everyone…

Zero - Finally.

Mega Man.EXE - In Monopoly money! -throws money in front of him-

X - Bastard. Hey, why are we doing this for you anyways?

Mega Man.EXE - Why, I've equipped you with electronic crotch shockers.

(Trigger jolts in his seat.)

X - What?

Mega Man.EXE - Money. Lots of money.

X - I didn't get any money.

Mega Man.EXE - You will. Now, this next game is… Hoedown! Everyone gets to sing about their series and what you say is of no concern of mine. Now, sing!

(The Hoedown music starts playing.)

Megaman: I was the original, the one that started us off.

-not singing- Hold on a second. I've got to cough.

(Megaman coughs.)

Megaman - -singing- I dislike that fact that everything's named after music.

It's like Capcom wants to make you sick.

But there's a few things I think I should share,

First off, I've got to go through levels to get to a boss?

(Megaman turns to Dr. Light.)

Megaman - -yelling at Dr. Light- Just teleport me there!!

(Dr. Light gives Megaman the finger-

Megaman - -singing- And not only do I think that Wily is a dike,

But I also hate those goddamn spikes!

(The music plays without interruption briefly.)

X - I was the second one to come out.

I made everyone all run and shout.

With new armors and passwords to save…

Yes, sir! I was quite the rave!

I keep the entire series intact.

But there's one thing that really makes me itch,

And that's the fact

That Zero is my bitch!

(Megaman and X wrap their arms together and dance in a circle and Zero shakes his head.)

Trigger - I took the series into 3-D.

That's probably why I was series three.

The second game sold pretty fast

'Cause I started by grabbing Roll's ass!

I do like Data too 'cause he's really funky.

There's just one thing that I find chunky

And that's that he's a monkey

Doin' the monkey!

(Data begins nodding his head to the beat of 'What Is Love'. A Servbot knocks him away with a baseball bat and the music scratches. The Hoedown tune resumes as the Servbot walks away.)

Zero - I took off from the sixth X game.

But to be honest, I found it kind of lame.

'Cause it really made no sense.

Hell! I might as well be able to fence!

Although Ciel's pretty hot and Leviathan too,

I don't know which one to choose.

But let me say I'm angry, I'm bouncing off the walls

X knows that I'm more popular and he can suck my…

(X shoots Zero.)

All - And he can suck my BANG!!

(The Hoedown tune stops and Zero crawls to his seat.)

Mega Man.EXE - 100 points to X for the dis, and 250 points for Zero, 200 for the comeback and 50 for getting shot. Now, the final game is MSX's favorite…

(All eyes turn to MSX, who raises his nonexistent eyebrows.)

Trigger - At least it's the last one.

Mega Man.EXE - This game is called… Scenes From A Hat!

(Mega Man.EXE pulls out a hat with an American flag motif.)

Mega Man.EXE - Before the show, subjects were suggested by the audience and put into this hat. I'll give you the category, you come with as many things as you can to go along with that theme. Now, let's play! The first one is… Reasons Why People Would Like Zero Better Than X.

(Zero walks to the middle and simply poses. The buzzer sounds and Megaman walks out.)

Megaman - It's the hair, man! It's gotta be the hair!

(Megaman swaps places with Trigger.)

Trigger - Does X have a fancy lightsaber? Nooooo!

(Trigger swaps places with X.)

X - There is no reason. I'm lovable. I'm compassionate. I'm…

(Dr. Light stands up.)

Dr. Light - You're a little bitch whenever you're forced to fight!

(X gives him the finger and walks to the side of the stage.)

Mega Man.EXE - Next one. Unusual Robot Masters.

(Megaman goes up and poses with his fists on his hip.)

Megaman - I'm Jesus Man!!

(Trigger swaps places with Megaman. Trigger stands there briefly before pantomiming. Zero walks up, as does X. X acts like he's shooting Zero.)

Zero - Mwahaha! I am Invincible Man! It's impossible to beat me!

(The duo swaps places with Megaman.)

Megaman - -laughing- I'm gonna get shot for this. -talking deeply- I'm Black Man! Where's my chicken?!

(Bass walks up and reaches his foot back.)

Bass - For the black community!

(Bass kicks Megaman in the nuts and nothing happens.)

Megaman - I'm a robot, remember? I get the point though. No offense meant. -walks to side of stage-

Bass - -walks back into audience- Racist bastard.

Mega Man.EXE - Next one. Reasons Why The Bonnes Never Win.

(Trigger walks up.)

Trigger - -snorts- They suck!

(Trigger walks to the side of the stage as Teasel throws a thing of popcorn at him. Megaman walks up.)

Megaman - They've got little Lego people. He's gotta monkey. Case closed.

(Trigger swaps places with Megaman again.)

Trigger - I'm just too damn good.

(Zero swaps places with Trigger.)

Zero - I dunno. They're gay?

(Zero walks back to the side of the stage.)

Mega Man.EXE - Last one.

Megaman - Hallelujah.

Mega Man.EXE - Parodies You'd Rather Not Be Forced To Make This Season.

(All eyes turn to MSX, who again raises his nonexistent eyebrows. X walks to the stage along with Megaman, Trigger, and Zero.)

X - Drinky Drinky!

Megaman - Dipshit!

Trigger - Gay-Gay!

Zero - Hoe!

All - Teleflubbies! Teleflubbies! Get… hung… over!

(The buzzer sounds and both Megaman and Zero leave. X and Trigger exchange fake punches until X acts like his head pops off. The buzzer sounds and Zero walks up.)

Zero - Freakachu! Go! -throws nonexistent ball-

(The buzzer sounds and he swaps places with Megaman.)

Megaman - That's 200 points for the freak with the hair!

(The buzzer sounds several times and the four exchange handshakes.)

Mega Man.EXE - And this is just the tip of the iceberg! Thanks for tuning in and we'll see you next time! Good night!!

MSX - Aaaaaand… Cut! Very good people. Now, let's get to work on the rest of the parodies.

Dr. Light - Oh, joy.

* * *

Next time: The X and Classic series discovers who lives in a pineapple under the sea. 


	2. Spongebob Squarepants Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #2

A Spongebob Squarepants Parody

By: The X and Classic series

* * *

Pirate Man - Oooooooooooh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

(The music scratches as Wire Sponge walks into the camera's view.)

Sponge - What? I don't like pineapples, let alone, live in one.

Pirate Man - Yellow, absorbent, and porous is he!

Sponge - I'm not yellow, absorbent, or porous… Whatever that means…

Pirate Man - If nautical nonsense be something you wish…

Sponge - If I want entertainment, I'll go to a comedy club.

Pirate Man - …then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!

Sponge - Okay, you know what? -walks away-

Pirate Man - Spongebob Squarepants! Spongebob Squarepants! Spongeboooooo… -begins choking-

(The camera turns around to show Wire Sponge strangling Pirate Man.)

Sponge - Let's get this over with!

(The camera fades briefly before fading to show the inside of a house.)

Sponge - -walks out of kitchen- Well, that was a good sandwich. Now, let's…

Crystal Snail - Meow.

(Sponge looks at Snail.)

Sponge - Starve for all I care. -walks outside- Now, what's on the agenda for today?

Squid Adler - Spongebob!

(Adler runs out of his tiki head and runs up to Sponge.)

Adler - You broke my clarinet!

Sponge - No, Adler. -places hand on Adler's shoulder- I saved the world.

(Star Man runs up.)

Star Man - Did someone say 'cheese'?

(Sponge shakes his head.)

Sponge - Tell me, how does life go on if you're as stupid as you are?

Star Man - Fifty-four!

Sponge - Never mind. Screw this lemonade stand, I'm…

(A lemonade stand spontaneously appears out of nowhere. Sponge smacks himself and walks down the street.)

Sponge - I swear, I did _not_ sign up for this.

(Metal Shark Player drives by in a boat.)

Player - Get out of the road, you idiot!

Sponge - I'm not in the road, idiot!

(After a few minute, Sponge walks into the Krusty Krab.)

Sponge - This is where I work? This is like an underwater McDonalds.

Adler - You can say that again.

Sponge - What the… How are you here before…

Bubble Crab - Spongebob!

(Crab scuttles to Sponge's side.)

Crab - Ye be five minutes late. All that time you spent lollygaging, ye could've been making me money!

Sponge - Screw you and you're money.

Crab - That's it!

(McWhalen runs in crying, stomping several people flat as he does so.)

Crab - Sweet mother of Pearl! What be wrong?

McWhalen - Spongebob stomped on my foot!

Sponge - No, I didn't.

McWhalen - Then who's that?!

(McWhalen points outside to Infinity Mijinion, who is in a Ride Armor stomping towards the store.)

Crab - Oh no! It be Plankton! He's after the recipe to the Krabby Patty!

Sponge - -holds up a turd- I've got his recipe right here.

(As Mijinion stomps through the door, Sponge throws the turd at him, covering his small body.)

Mijinion - I'm covered in crap! My plan's ruined! Ah!

(Mijinion turns around and runs away.)

Sponge - Easy as pie. Turd pie that is.

Crab - Right. So, first you're late. Then you stomp on Pearl's foot. Now you're throwing crap around! You're fired!

(Crab begins slowly scuttling towards a lever. Sponge scoffs and walks over to it first.)

Sponge - Oh, please.

(Sponge pulls the lever and a trapdoor opens up beneath him. He falls into the pit as Crab laughs.)

Crab - They fall for it every time! -crabby laugh-

(Sponge falls into a dome with a single tree in the center.)

Sponge - Okay, don't know how I got here.

Grizzly Slash - What do you want?

(Sponge looks up at Slash.)

Sponge - Uh…

Slash - We didn't have a squirrel. Plus, I hibernate. Don't know why, but I do.

Sponge - Are we just about done?

Slash - Yeah. MSX doesn't really have a real plot to this parody. Although Spongebob does have homosexual theme, regardless of what its' creators say.

(Barbie Girl begins playing as Slash's eyes get all watery.)

Sponge - Not if my life depended on it.

(Sponge exits the dome and walks home.)

Sponge - Well, this parody sucked. As a matter, this whole show fucking sucks! I hate this job! Someone shoot me! -gets shot-

Pirate Man - Yar! And stay down, ya one-nut sonnuva bitch!

* * *

Next time: Spring Man becomes the star of his own parody. 


	3. Inspector Gadget Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #3

An Inspector Gadget Parody

By: The Classic series

* * *

(Dr. Light is shuffling through papers when Spring Man, dressed in a trenchcoat, busts in the door.) 

Spring Man - You wanted to see me, inspector?

(Dr. Light raises an eyebrow.)

Dr. Light - Why'd you kick the door down?

Spring Man - The knob was gone.

Dr. Light - Okay… And no, I didn't. That's later in the parody.

Spring Man - Oh right.

(Spring Man picks up the door and puts it back into place before walking out of the room. Moments' later, he kicks the door down again.)

Dr. Light - This is not later!

(A half hour later, Spring Man drives up in the Gadgetmobile.)

Spring Man - Tough day.

Gadgetmobile - You can say that again.

(Spring Man grows wide-eyed before running inside where Rush and Roll are waiting.)

Roll - Uncle…

Spring Man - Demons have possessed my car! -runs up stairs- Save yourself! -trips, then continues running down hall-

Roll - Gadget…

Gadgetmobile - What's with him?

(Roll shrugs. The next day, Spring Man gets up and goes into the bathroom. He picks up a shaver.)

Spring Man - My face is made of metal. I don't need this.

(Spring Man tosses the shaver away and goes to sit down on the toilet when Dr. Light's head comes out of it.)

Dr. Light - Gadget!

Spring Man - Holy shit!

Dr. Light - You're hilarious.

Spring Man - Thank you, inspector. But this is hardly the time for humor. My bowels are full and fit to…

Dr. Light - Too much info…

Spring Man - …blow…

Dr. Light - Here's your assignment.

(Dr. Light squirms around, then holds up a soggy piece of paper. Spring Man reluctantly takes it.)

Spring Man - Why is everything written in a zigzag?

Dr. Light - Company policy.

Spring Man - Okay… 'Dr. Flaw has unleashed a new Robot Master, Mediocre Man. You must find him and bring him to justice.'

Dr. Light - Or destroy him. Whatever works. Also, tell your niece to flush.

(Dr. Light pulls the trigger and flushes himself. Spring Man shrugs, crumbles up the paper, and tosses it in the toilet. Moments later, the toilet explodes. Spring Man stands there, dumbfounded.)

Spring Man - Note to self: Record and believe all urban legends.

(Spring Man walks down stairs.)

Spring Man - Those stairs are trying to kill me. I'm sure of it!

Roll - Whatever floats your boat.

Spring Man - Oxygen.

Roll - What?

Spring Man - Oxygen floats my boat. You see, oxygen is…

Gadgetmobile - Uh… Gadget?

Spring Man - The demons have awaken! -runs out the front door- Save yourself! -runs down street-

Roll - Something's up. Brain, go follow him.

(Rush salutes, then runs after him.)

Gadgetmobile - That dog's too smart for his own good.

Roll - He is.

(Rush soon finds Spring Man talking to a payphone.)

Spring Man - …so then I said, 'Rush, why are you peeing on the carpet? I've got a can for you to do that in!' -laughs-

(Rush tilts his head worriedly.)

Spring Man - What? I'm talking here. -hears an explosion- Hold the phone! Go go gadget binoculars!

(Binoculars pop out of his hat and he looks down the street. A Robot Master's eyes are staring back.)

Spring Man - It appears as if Mediocre Man has shown himself! He's currently looking right at me.

(The binoculars retreat into his hat and Spring Man starts as Mediocre Man is seen standing a few feet away from him.)

Spring Man - My, you're fast.

(The Robot Masters begins to drool.)

Spring Man - And you're drooling. Lovely. Um… Look…

(Mediocre Man farts.)

Spring Man - Wowzers! That stinks. -covers nonexistent nose- Okay, time to take you down. Go go gadget mallet!

(A mallet hits him in the face.)

Spring Man - Okay… That's special…

(Mediocre Man runs down the street.)

Spring Man - A chase it is then! Go go gadgets coils!

(Nothing happens.)

Roll - Uh… You are a coil.

Spring Man - So I am. Go go gadget coils!

(Spring Man uses his body to spring (no pun intended) down the street. Mediocre Man trips, falls on his face, and explodes.)

Spring Man - So much for going out with a bang. I didn't even get to say 'Go go gadget arsenal'.

(Wild Coil is launched from his hands.)

Spring Man - Note to self: have arsenal reevaluated.

(A few minutes later, Spring Man kicks Dr. Light's door down.)

Spring Man - You wanted to see me, inspector?

Dr. Light - Hmm? Ah, yes. Gadget. Tell me. Why is Dr. Flaw sitting in the corner of the room?

(All eyes turned to Dr. Wily, visible from the back.)

Wily - -in deep voice- What? Uh… I'm not Dr. Flaw! -turns around and does the eyebrow thing-

Dr. Light - I can't look!!

Spring Man - My eyes are burning out of their sockets!!

Wily - -in normal voice- Well, that was… special…

* * *

Next time: The Legends series takes on Family Feud for the second time. 


	4. Still Another Family Feud Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #5

Still Another Family Feud Parody

By: The Legends series

* * *

(MSX floats in a yoga stance over to the podium.) 

MSX - Welcome to the Family Feud. On my left, we have the Caskets. We have Trigger…

(Trigger waves.)

MSX - Roll…

(Roll flashes her breasts.)

MSX - Barrell…

(Barrell is reading 'Suicide For Dummies'.)

MSX - Data…

(Data readies a flamethrower.)

MSX - …and Empty Space!

(Empty Space looks empty.)

MSX - On my right, we've got the Bonnes. We've got Teasel…

(Teasel cocks an old-fashion musket.)

MSX - Tron…

(Tron is sleeping.)

MSX - Bon Bonne…

(Bon tries to pick his nose, but can't 'cause her doesn't have one.)

MSX - A random Servbot…

(The Servbot waves.)

MSX - And Empty Space's brother, Empty Space!

(Empty Space 2 looks more empty than Empty Space 1. MSX unfolds his legs as Trigger and Teasel walk up.)

Trigger - Good luck.

Teasel - I'm gonna get that turkey.

Trigger - What?

MSX - Never mind. Now… blah blah blah… 100 people… blah blah… most popular answer… blah _blah_ blah… nonexistent cash prizes… blah. Let's get this done, I've got a hooker waiting.

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

MSX - Okay, top six answers. Most popular answer. Good luck. Name a reason why the Bonnes suck so bad.

(Trigger buzzes in as Teasel gives him the crazy eye.)

Trigger - Uh…

Teasel - Turkey…

Trigger - Yeah… How about 'they just suck'?

MSX - Survey says…

Survey - Hop on one foot.

(Everyone does so.)

MSX - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_They just suck - 15_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

MSX - Teasel?

Teasel - Turkey…

Trigger - He's looking at me weird.

MSX - Survey says…

Survey - Clap your hands.

(Everyone does so.)

MSX - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_They just suck - 15_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_Turkey - ??_

MSX - Trigger, are you going to pass or play?

Trigger - Play.

(As Trigger returns to his podium, Teasel walks backwards, continuously muttering 'Turkey…')

MSX - Hey, hottie. What's your name?

Roll - It's Roll, stupid. Remember?

MSX - But of course. Name a reason why they… -motions to opposite family- …suck so bad.

Roll - They're stupid. Like you.

MSX - Survey says…

Survey - Become a lion tamer.

(No one moves.)

Survey - Spoil sports.

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_They just suck - 15_

_They're stupid - 14_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_Turkey - ??_

MSX - Barrell, name a reason why the Bonnes suck so badly.

Barrell - Back in my day, you could get a six-pack of beer for a quarter! And ya'd drink it, and drive into a tree! Good times!

MSX - Okay… Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_They just suck - 15_

_They're stupid - 14_

_--------- - --_

_Something about beer - ??_

_Turkey - ??_

MSX - Data, name…

Data - -in demonic tone- I am not Data. I am Lucifer, god of the underworld, and you will all perish in eternal hellfire!

(A brief silence follows.)

MSX - Data, name a reason why the Bonnes suck so bad.

Data - -in normal tone- They obviously play with Legos.

Servbot - Do not!

MSX - Do so. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Too many Legos - 21_

_They just suck - 15_

_They're stupid - 14_

_--------- - --_

_Something about beer - ??_

_Turkey - ??_

MSX - Empty Space, name a reason the Bonnes suck so bad.

Empty Space - …

(A card reading 'Unoriginality' is placed on the space.)

MSX - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Too many Legos - 21_

_They just suck - 15_

_They're stupid - 14_

_Unoriginality - Fifty bajillion_

_Something about beer - ??_

_Turkey - ??_

MSX - Makes no sense, but oh well! Next pair.

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

(Roll and Tron glare at each other.)

MSX - Name a reason why Megaman ZX is the greatest game in the series.

(Roll buzzes in.)

Roll - Something 'bout a girl or something. -goes back to glaring-

MSX - Survey says…

_X_

MSX - Tron?

Tron - The main character is a female.

MSX - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Female Lead - 23_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

Roll - I said that!

MSX - No, you said 'something about a female or something'. It's not the same thing you know!

(Roll throws her hands up and takes her seat as MSX and Tron walk over to the Bonnes.)

MSX - Bon, name a reason why Megaman ZX is the best in the series.

Bon - Babubabu.

MSX - Whatever. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Female Lead - 23_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_Babubabu - ??_

MSX - What's that say?

Tron - Babubabu.

MSX - Right… Freaks… Servbot! Name a reason why Megaman ZX is the best in the series.

Servbot - Isn't that the only game in the series?

MSX - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Female Lead - 23_

_Only game in series - Duh!_

_--------- - --_

_Babubabu - ??_

MSX - Empty Space, why is Megaman ZX the best in the series?

(A blank card is placed on the space.)

_X_

MSX - Wrong answer. -rolls over to Teasel-

Teasel - Turkey…

MSX - Alright then. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Female Lead - 23_

_Only game in series - Duh!_

_Tell him to stop saying turkey - Or else!_

_Babubabu - ??_

Trigger - Is it just me or is this survey board becoming too smart for its' own good?

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Female Lead - 23_

_Only game in series - Duh!_

_Tell him to stop saying turkey - Or else!_

_Babubabu - ??_

_He's on to me! - Cheese it!_

(The board quickly changes itself.)

MSX - Okay. Next pair. -rollerskates up to his podium-

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

(Barrell and Bon exchange 'Babus'.)

Barrell - Babu! You look like you could enjoy a nice frosty beverage!

(Barrell pulls a beer out of nowhere, chugs it, and crushes the can on his forehead.)

MSX - Right… Name a video game cliché.

(Barrell buzzes in.)

Barrell - Everyone tries killing you! It's the whole point of the game these days. Back in my day…

MSX - That's lovely, geezer. Hurry up and die. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_Haterism - Oh no!_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

MSX - Bon?

Bon - Babu babu!

MSX - If I hear another 'babu', I swear to God, someone's going to die! Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_--------- - --_

_Haterism - Oh no!_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

MSX - Nothing new is up there. -raises eyebrow- The hell? Wait! I know what's wrong!

(MSX punches the wall.)

_X_

MSX - There. Bon, you suck.

(MSX rollerskates up to Data.)

MSX - Data, name a video game cliché.

Data - Invisible barriers.

MSX - That's up there. I'm not even gonna stop. Empty Space, name a video game cliché.

(The space just sits there.)

MSX - Sharp, metal objects don't kill you right away, you say? Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Invisible Barriers - Ah!_

_Haterism - Oh no!_

_Invincibility - Haha!_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

MSX - Trigger, video game cliché. Now. Hurry.

Trigger - Giant pockets.

MSX - What? okay… Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Invisible Barriers - Ah!_

_Haterism - Oh no!_

_Invincibility - Haha!_

_RPG People Carry An Ungodly Amount Of Things In Pockets - Phew!_

_--------- - --_

_--------- - --_

MSX - Roll. Video Game Cliché. Now!

Roll - Lives.

MSX - Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Invisible Barriers - Ah!_

_Haterism - Oh no!_

_Invincibility - Haha!_

_RPG People Carry An Ungodly Amount Of Things In Pockets - Phew!_

_--------- - --_

_Lives - WTF!_

MSX - Okay, I'm bored. Yell out a video game cliché.

Trigger - Bitches!

Roll - Damsels in distress!

Barrell - Back in my day…

Data - Death!

Empty Space - …!

MSX - Guess what? You're all idiots!

(MSX rollerskates to the Bonnes' side.)

MSX - Teasel. Cliché. Give me. Now!

Teasel - Turkey!

Tron - You'll have to excuse him. He hasn't gotten over the incident from last Thanksgiving.

Teasel - Turkey…

MSX - Whatever. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Invisible Barriers - Ah!_

_Haterism - Oh no!_

_Invincibility - Haha!_

_RPG People Carry An Ungodly Amount Of Things In Pockets - Phew!_

_Turkey - OMFG!_

_Lives - WTF!_

MSX - Hey, look at that. You win, but you lose.

(The Bonnes fall into a trapdoor.)

MSX - Give me two people to finish this parody with.

(Data and Empty Space are chosen.)

MSX - Data. 200 points. You get. You win. Let's go. Name a Megaman monkey.

Data - Me!

MSX - Name a hot Megaman female.

Data - Roll!

MSX - Which one?

Data - All of them!

MSX - Name a funny Megaman moment.

Data - When he pops!

MSX - Make a noise that mimes make.

(Data screams.)

MSX - Okay, let's have a look. Name a Megaman monkey. You said me. Survey says…

_Me - 0_

Data - You guys are a bunch of stupid asses.

MSX - Sure we are. Name a hot Megaman female. You said Roll. Survey says…

_Me - 0_

_Roll - 100_

MSX - People must like Roll. Anyways, I said 'Which one?' You said all of them. Survey says…

_Me - 0_

_Roll - 100_

_All of 'em - 98_

MSX - And the other two are gay. Name a funny Megaman moment. You said when he pops. Survey says…

_Me - 0_

_Roll - 100_

_All of 'em - 98_

_When he 'pops' - 0_

MSX - He doesn't pop. He explodes. I said make a noise a mime makes. Mimes don't scream. Thus…

_Me - 0_

_Roll - 100_

_All of 'em - 98_

_When he 'pops' - 0_

_-screams- - 0_

MSX - Bring Empty Space on out.

Empty Space - …

MSX - Okay, name a Megaman monkey.

Empty Space - …

MSX - Name a hot Megaman female.

Empty Space - …

MSX - Which one?

Empty Space - …

MSX - Name a funny Megaman moment.

Empty Space - …

MSX - Make a noise that mimes make.

Empty Space - …

MSX - Okay, Megaman monkeys. Number one was Data…

Data - I said that!

MSX - You said '…' Survey says…

… _- 0_

MSX - Name a hot Megaman female. You said '…' Number one was Roll. Survey says…

… _- 0_

… _- 0_

MSX - I said 'Which one?' You said '…' Number one was all of 'em. Survey says…

… _- 0_

… _- 0_

… _- 0_

MSX - Name a funny Megaman moment. You said '…' Number one was when Sigma says you can call him Sigma because he is, in fact, Sigma in X8. Survey says…

… _- 0_

… _- 0_

… _- 0_

… _- 0_

MSX - I said make a noise mimes make. You said '…' Number one punch one and find out. Survey says.

… _- 0_

… _- 0_

… _- 0_

… _- 0_

… _- 2_

MSX - Oh darn. You win a whole nothing.

(MSX throws air into the air.)

MSX - Merry Christmas, asswipes. Survey, let's get a beer.

_... - You're_

_... - Paying_

_... - This_

_... - Time,_

_... - Deadbeat._

MSX - Screw you, Survey. You're a wall. You can't even move. You can't even drink beer. Anything that can't drink beer is gay. You're gay. See ya later, gaywad.

_... - You_

_... - $!#_

_... - &!#$!!_

_... - !$()!$&))!!_

_... - Duck !&# mother-&(!)$ son of a $!(($& &$&! bag$&(#&! presbytarian #(&!&!!!!!_

* * *

Next time: I make fun of my own show. 


	5. The Random Megaman Parody Show Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #6

A Parody of The Random Megaman Parody Show

By: All series

* * *

(X is sitting in a chair.)

X - It was awfully nice for MSX to give us the day off.

Ciel - You're right. Too nice, in fact…

MSX - Nothing gets by you, does it? Anyways, I gave you the day off so we can watch the audition tapes before the season premiere of the first season. Which is _still_ missing!

(Everyone looks innocent.)

MSX - So, sit down! Shut up! And enjoy!

(Everyone reluctantly sits in a chair as MSX puts a tape into the VCR. The TV fizzes for a few seconds before Bombman appears on screen.)

Bombman - This is retarded! We're all from Megaman games, so why do we have to audition for a Megaman show?

MSX - -from off screen- 'Cause I said so! First question, Wily says that you're useless and throws you out of the fortress. What do you do now?

Bombman - Well, the neighbor's dog _has_ been pooping in my yard for a while…

(Swordman appears.)

Swordman - Oh, I dunno. I look someone who needs something done, I guess.

(Ringman appears.)

Ringman - I join the circus!

(Clownman walks across the screen in the background saying 'Asshole.' Topman, Quickman, and Turboman appear.)

Topman - I get a job at the carnival!

Quickman - I break the sound barrier for no reason!

Turboman - I'd probably go home, eat chips, watch soap operas, walk around in my boxers all day. The usual.

(Topman and Quickman look at him weird.)

Turboman - What?

(Zero (X series) appears on screen.)

Zero - Who?

(Trigger appears on screen.)

Trigger - Wily has a fortress? I thought he had a boat shop.

(Dr. Light appears on screen.)

MSX - -from off screen- As it turns out, someone you know has accomplished your life's dream. What do you do?

Dr. Light - I congratulate them. Naturally!

(The camera pans out as Dr. Light turns to Wily.)

Dr. Light - Except you.

(Sigma appears on screen.)

Sigma - I.. kill him! Or her.

(Juno appears on screen.)

Juno - I smile.

(Omega X appears on screen.)

Omega X - I have them terminated.

(Marino appears on screen.)

MSX - -from off screen- Wha?! What are you doing here? Get lost!

(Marino flips the bird as she walks off. Tron Bonne appears on screen.)

MSX - -from off screen- What do you do on your free time?

Tron - Play with Legos.

(A Servbot pokes his head into the camera's view.)

Tron - For hours.

(Juno appears.)

Juno - I smile.

(Harpuia appears.)

Harpuia - I go down to the café and I continue writing my autobiography. Then, I leave at promptly two o' clock to go jogging through the park. Then, at three o' clock, I have tea and crumpets. -snobby English laugh- Could you repeat the question?

(Juno reappears.)

Juno - Smile.

(Phantom appears, but is promptly killed by Zero. Then, Axl appears on screen.)

MSX - -from off screen- What's your favorite word?

Axl - Huh?

(Juno appears.)

Juno - Smile!

(Airman appears on screen, but Juno grabs the camera and turns it to face him. He's now smiling so big, it's creepy.)

Juno - SMILE!!

(Gutsman appears on screen.)

MSX - -from off screen- You discover that Juno is actually a midget in an armored suit. What's your first reaction?

Gutsman - What?

(Trigger appears on screen.)

Trigger - He is?! I knew it!

(Yuna and Sera appear on screen.)

Yuna - Meh.

Sera - Not surprising.

(Ciel appears on screen.)

MSX - -from off screen- Are you disturbed by the fact that you're being interviewed by my top half?

(The camera pans out to show that MSX's upper torso is on a table with a pencil and notebook.)

Ciel - Uh…

(X appears on the screen.)

MSX - from off screen- Who do you hate the most?

X - Zero. Can't stand that blondie's attitude. -poorly imitates Zero's voice- Oh, I'm blonde and I'm cooler than the main character. -in normal voice- Please!

(Zero (X series) appears on screen.)

Zero - Probably him.

(Zero motions with his head at X, who is sitting next to him.)

X - I was just kidding…

(Flameman appear on screen.)

Flameman - Iceman! That little bastard always puts a dog turd in my breakfast cereal!

(Iceman appears on screen.)

Iceman - He had it coming.

(Grenademan appears.)

MSX - -from off screen- Aside from what you are now, what do you want to be?

Grenademan - A terrorist!

Flameman - -from off screen- You bastard! -walks on screen- I was supposed to be the terrorist! I got a freaking turban nailed to my head! I'm the perfect stereotypical terrorist! You son of a bitch! I'll bomb you! I'll bomb your whole family!

(Fefnir's seat appears.)

MSX - -from off screen- Fefnir?

(The camera scrolls over to show that Fefnir has joined in the fight between the two Robot Masters. Gate appears on screen.)

MSX - -from off screen- Last question.

Gate - Thank God.

MSX - What's your answer?

Gate - To what?

MSX - -from off screen- To the question.

Gate - What question?

MSX - -from off screen- What's you answer?

Gate - I don't have time for this.

(Gate gets up and walks off.)

MSX - -from off screen- I'm sorry. The answer was Georgia.

(The TV fizzes and MSX pops out the tape.)

MSX - Well, that was fun.

Leviathan - Like hell!

MSX - Now, for tape two!

(Everyone screams as MSX reaches into a box labeled 'Audition - Box 1 of 43'.)

* * *

Next time: I make my most realistic parody ever. 


	6. Reality Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #7

A Parody of Reality

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

Megaman - Parodying reality? Won't that, like, create a hole in the universe that will destroy us all? Including me?

MSX - Quiet! Begin parody!

(An alarm rings and Lan promptly sits up in his bed. He walks outside, inhales deeply, then begins gagging. He runs inside and slams the door shut.)

Lan - Damn pollution.

(Lan walks into the kitchen as the freezer section of the refrigerator slowly melts away.)

Lan - Damn global warming.

(Lan turns on the TV.)

Reporter - Vice President Cheney shot his lawyer friend! In the face! Thinking that it was a quail!

Lan - Damn Cheney.

Reporter - In related news, FEMA _still_ hasn't come to the site of the Hurricane Katrina accident.

Lan - Damn FEMA.

Reporter - In more related news, American Idol is coming back. Again.

Lan - Damn Simon.

Reporter - This just in. Ahnold has declined the offer to be in the fourth Terminator.

Lan - Damn… wait…

(The camera is now outside of the house and it cracks as 'Nooooooooooo…' is heard.)

Lan - Megaman! Megaman!!

Megaman - -sleepily- What?

Lan - ArnoldTerminator4noArnoldno'Hastalavista'!!

Megaman - Slow down. And speak English while you're at it.

Lan - Arnold's not in the fourth Terminator!

(Another 'Nooooooooooo…' is heard.)

Megaman - What do we do?!

Lan - There's only one thing we can do! We must fuse Dick Cheney, FEMA, Simon, and Arnold into one global warming freezing, pollution cleaning robot! I'll call it the Bitchbot 4000!

Megaman - Yea… Good luck with that!

Lan - You're right. Too expensive.

Megaman - What about a petition?

Lan - What?! It's so… so… not violent!

Megaman - That's video games for you these days.

Reporter - More news just in! OJ Simpson is releasing his first novel titled 'I Did It And There's Nothing You Can Do About It: The Origin of 'Neener! Neener!' Likewise, the new movie 'The Da Vinci's Full Of Shit Code' comes out in theatres today. No one is expected to go and see it.

Lan - Wow…

Megaman - You can say that again…

Lan - No! I almost forgot!

(Lan runs into the kitchen and comes out with a rose in his mouth and is wearing a tuxedo.)

Megaman - Let me guess.

(Lan spits the rose into his hand.)

Lan - I'm gonna score with my teacher. Oh yeah! -runs out of front door-

Megaman - I feel lonely…

Hidden Figure - You there!

(Megaman turns around as a navi with hunting gear on walks up with a shotgun.)

Megaman - Who are you?

Hunt Man - I'm Hunt Man.

Megaman - Right…

(A panel with Cheney's face appears above Hunt Man.)

Megaman - Crap…

Cheney - He swore! Rha! Get him!

(Hunt Man blows Megaman's face off and he falls to the ground.)

Cheney - Good job. Now let's go. Rha! I've got to get my sneer fixed!

Narrator - Elsewhere…

Roll - …and then he said 'Stupid nigger. That's not a gun. That's my crutch!'

(Roll begins laughing as Bass looks at the camera without turning his head.)

Guts Man - Hi, guys.

Bass - Hello, fatty.

Guts Man - I'm not fat.

(Bass suddenly becomes enraged and throws his finger in Guts Man's face.)

Bass - If I say you're fat, then you're fat! Got that, motherfucker?!

Guts Man - Temper, temper.

(Glyde skips up to the group wearing a Speedo.)

Glyde - -in homosexual tone- Like, hi, guys. So, what's on the agenda for today. I was thinking about going to mall and going on a shopping spree. They've got a sale on Hello Kitty socks.

(Bass turns and begins to float off.)

Bass - That does it. I've got to go before I get too much homosexual in my system.

Narrator - Elsewhere again…

(Lan is smoking a cigarette outside of the classroom.)

Principal - You can't smoke in here.

Lan - I'll do what I want.

Principal - You're suspended!

(Lan pulls a gun out of his pants and shoots the principal in the head.)

Lan - You're dead. And now…

(Lan goes on a rampage, shooting anyone who mutters the words 'the' or 'fluffernutter'.)

Lan - One more touch. -commits suicide- Hey, I'm not dead. Awesome! -dies-

Reporter - This just in, reality fucking sucks!

* * *

Next time: The X series returns to the Matrix. 


	7. The Matrix Reloaded Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #8

A Parody of The Matrix Reloaded

By: The X series

* * *

(In opening scene, Iris rides motorcycle off of a building and lets it crash into another where it explodes. A guard gasps.) 

Guard - My God! She knows how to make an entrance!

(Moments later, bystanders are looking up as Iris and Sigma fall slowly to the ground while shooting at each other.)

Bystander - There they go again. That's the fifth time this week.

(As Iris, Zero, and X walk up to the crowd, everyone turns as Zero begins talking.)

Zero - A million times a billion to the square root of pi. Sounds exactly like the thinking of a machine to me.

(Minutes later, after the door is busted down, Sigma is standing there.)

Sigma - Zelo!

(Two more Sigmas appear at his side.)

Sigmas - Zelo!

Zero - Damn, no one ever lets me live down X6.

(After a brief fight scene, Zero hunches down.)

Zero - SUP-erman!

(He takes off into the sky. Then, in Zion, as Zero is surrounded by people, Iris walks off.)

Zero - Shit. Hey, I've got a solution to everyone's problems. Fuck you all!

(After some boring stuff happens, a shaded figure cuts his hand.)

Shaded Figure - I'm so emo. Yes, I am. That's probably why I haven't found Nemo!

(After he tries to kill Zero, but fails, a random person runs up.)

Random Person - The orphans wanted me to give you this. They said you'd understand.

(Zero opens up a cloth and there is nothing there.)

Zero - I understand.

(After pulling Sigma's hand out of his chest, he looks angrily at him.)

Zero - This isn't Mortal Kombat, asshole! It's more like Street Fighter.

(The battle begins. As Zero begins to spin around while running on the Sigmas, he gags, then begins barfing, spewing vomit everywhere. After the battle ends, he flies off and soon finds himself in a larger building.)

Douglas - Of all of the languages, French is my favorite.

Zero - Too bad they lost the French Revolution.

Douglas - How'd they do that, Mr. Neo?

Douglas - Both sides surrendered.

(Seconds pass.)

Douglas - Wiping my ass with silk: I love it.

Zero - Wiping our asses with your flag: America loves it.

(Zero turns and gives the thumbs-up to the camera.)

(A.N. I don't hate the French in any way, but I do find them to be exceptionally prone to insults such as this. Again, I'm not anti-French or anything. I'm just anti-anti-humor.)

(In the bathroom with Alia, she puts on lipstick.)

Alia - I want you to kiss me. Make me feel like her. -motions to Iris-

(Zero shrugs, then passionately makes out with her.)

(A.N. Another note: Layer is a prostitute and will burn in bloody hell for eternity. Never will she replace Iris.)

(In the large room, Zero stops bullets, then spells out 'You're fucked' before dropping them to the ground.)

Douglas - Okay, so you have some skill.

(During fight scene, a sword hits a statue's leg.)

Statue - My leg!

(It falls over and breaks in half.)

Statue - My back!

(On the freeway, Dynamo looks behind him.)

Dynamo - A pair of ghostly twins. A duo of homicidal gents. Well, fuck my ass… This is shaping up to be one hell of a day.

(As Middy phases out of the car, he stands on the road, then phases into another one.)

Random Driver - Holy shit! A ghost!

(He turns calmly to the kids, then looks forward.)

Middy - Wrong car.

(He phases through it and appears next to Techno.)

Middy - Right car.

Techno - Yes, it is.

(Later, after Dynamo dies, Zero sighs in relief.)

Zero - Finally. It's about time this prick bit the dust.

(In the room with Signas, he clicks a button on the remote and porn appears on every TV. He quickly panics and pushes another button.)

Zero - Spoil sport.

(When Zero reaches into Iris' chest and pulls out the bullet, she dies.)

Deep Voice - Fatality!

Zero - Aw, shit. Not again.

X - You found a survivor?

Random Guy - Only one.

(The camera moves up to the person who is above Neo, but it doesn't reveal who.)

MSX - Oh snap! I smell sequel!

* * *

Next time: Snake Man grabs his whip and returns as the main star. 


	8. The Temple Of Doom Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #9

A Parody of Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom

By: The Classic series

* * *

(At the table, Snakeman grabs Roll and holds a poker to her side.) 

Snakeman - The deal was for the diamond.

(Snakeman puts rock candy back on the spinner as Yamatoman puts the diamond on it. He then holds a small test tube.)

Snakeman - What's that?

Yamatoman - The antidote.

Snakeman - For what?

Yamatoman - For the poison you just drank.

(Yamatoman and two other guys laugh as Snakeman motions to the empty glass, then to a dead man who sprawled out on the floor.)

Snakeman - Give it to him.

(As Snakeman stumbles away for some reason, he grabs a flaming kabob and aims it at the man on Yamatoman's right.)

Snakeman - Have a kabob. I hear their to die for!

(He throws the kabob into the man's chest and makes his escape. Moments later, during chase scene, Roll throws the gun out of the window.)

Snakeman - Where's my gun?!

Roll - I burnt my hands and I cracked a nail!

(Snakeman pimp-smacks Roll.)

Snakeman - Pimp smack yo ass! Do you know who I am?!

Roll - You sure ain't the Juggernaut.

(later, after the men jump off of the plane, Snakeman sits in the pilot's seat.)

Roll - Do you know how to fly a plane?

Snakeman - Well, I know how to crash.

(As the plane crashes into the mountain, Colonel Sanders sits upright.)

Employee - Are you okay?

Colonel Sanders - I sense a disturbance in the force.

(As the raft flies off of the cliff, Snakeman starts.)

Snakeman - Quick! Replace yourselves with inanimate objects!

(When the raft hit the water, a baseball, and rake, and a whip all bounce up before they spontaneously reappear in the raft.)

Snakeman - See? Works every time!"

(As Snakeman, Roll, and Iceman are surrounded, Snakeman begins hyperventilating.)

(A.N. I'm warning you ahead of time, the following is for humours purposes only. As stated in the GTA: Vice City parody, I'm not racist.)

Snakeman - This isn't good.

Roll - What isn't?

Snakeman - Being here. I've got Negrophobia. There's… too… many… niggers…

(Snakeman reaches for his gun, then passes out. He comes to and puts on a gas mask as he begins talking with the chief.)

Snakeman - He says they stole their children. This sounds like a job for Snakeman, P.H.D. Part-time D.D.S. And I'm gonna kick some major A.S.S.

(At night, Roll picks up Shade Man by the wings.)

Shademan - Hey, wanna screw?

(Roll begins screaming and running around. Moments later, she sits down.)

Roll - I'd feel better sleeping with a snake.

(Snakeman raises his eyebrows several times.)

Roll - Not you.

(The next morning, in the palace, lunch is served.)

Chef - Snake surprise.

Roll - What's the surprise?

(A boxing glove pops out of the snake's head and punches Roll out.)

Chef - Surprise.

(After the feast Snakeman converses with Roll.)

Roll - Does that shock you?

Snakeman - Nothing shocks me. Except that one time where I stuck my pecker in the light socket. Woo!! I'll never do that again!

(After the dropping ceiling section, Roll runs into the room.)

Roll - Get them off of me!

(Snakeman looks pissed as he dumps a bucket of Search Snakes on her.)

Snakeman - Take that, ya slow-moving bitch!

(During the ceremony, the priest pulls heart out of victim.)

Snakeman - Damn, that's some Mortal Kombat shit right there!

Priest - I win! Fatality!

(After a while, Iceman grabs onto a rope hanging from inside a hole in the ceiling.)

Iceman - That was awfully convenient.

(After the big fight scene, Snakeman lands in a mine cart.)

Snakeman - Cool! Time for some old-fashioned Mexican mine cart racing!

Roll - Mexican mine cart racing?

Snakeman - How do you think they get here undetected? Underground mine cart races!

(While climbing up the broken bridge, soldiers begin firing across the canyon.)

Snakeman - Well, fuck me in the ass. Got arrows on one side, guns on the other. Hell, those crocs are beginning to look friendly.

(After kissing Roll, the black children surround Snakeman as he begins hyperventilating again.)

Snakeman - Not again… Too much… black…

(Snakeman passes out.)

* * *

Next Time: The Legends series head for their Final Destination. 


	9. Final Destination Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #10

A Parody of Final Destination

By: The Legends series

* * *

(Trigger walks into an empty room. He looks down at an anvil.)

Trigger - Well, this boring.

(Trigger walks over the anvil as a chainsaw come out of the top. Trigger looks behind him, then looks at his crotch.)

Trigger - That was lucky.

(Trigger walks off as another anvil drops down and a giant flame is shot out of the side.)

Trigger - Again, pretty lucky.

-Days later…-

(Trigger is in the middle of a field with hundreds of anvils trying to kill him. Suddenly, a meteor falls into the atmosphere and begins burning up.)

Trigger - What are the chances?!

(The meteor zips through Trigger's head and kills him. Death looks at God, who is holding a slingshot.)

God - What? He had it coming.

(The scene changes to Roll in the bathroom.)

Roll - Well, time to take a ba-

(Roll steps in a puddle that's the exact shape of her foot and slips.)

Roll - What are the chances?!

(Roll lands on a mattress that spontaneously appears and she raises an eyebrow. All of the springs pop out of the mattress and skewer her.)

Data - On to the next one!!

(Tron is bungie-jumping (who knows why) and Data cuts her cord. Tron falls screaming, but breaks through the roof of the Gesselchaft and lands in her room.)

Tron - What are the chances?

(She lays back as the bed folds up and crushes her. Barrell is on the toilet, attempting to push out what he calls 'The Load of the Century'.)

Barrell - RHA!! takes a dump- Ah, sweet relief… -looks in toilet- Time to take a picture. Wait… I don't remember eating a tapeworm… Oh well! -flushes toilet-

(Barrell walks outside and Amelia falls over as her eyes start bleeding.)

Barrell - Whoops! Forgot my pants!

(Barrell goes back into the bathroom.)

Barrell - I don't remember putting a snake in my pocket. Oh well!

(The snake lunges and bites Barrell in the hip.)

Barrell - What are the chances? He bit my metal hip! Loser!

(A sixteen-ton weight drops on his head.)

Data - All is going according to plan.

(Appo and Dah are walking down the street together when a water main explodes and sends a pipe spinning in their direction. It whizzes right between their heads.)

Dah - What are the chances?

(Water begins gushing out of the hole in the ground and an unknown species of mole crawls towards them and begins eating Dah.)

Appo - What are the chances?

(Suddenly, Robocop walks up and shoots the moles.)

Robocop - Warning! Homeless child has been detected. I shall now resolve the problem.

(Robocop shoots Appo in the head and holsters his gun.)

Robocop - You're welcome. -walks off-

(Teasel is waltzing down the street when a rabid pit bull runs past him. Then, a rabid squirrel. Finally, a rabid hamster.)

Teasel - Weird…

(Just then, a rabid walrus jumps onto him and begins eating him. Just then, someone shoots it and it falls over.)

Teasel - What are the chances?

(Teasel stands up, but is shot by a zombie.)

Zombie - Crikey! Isn't this one a beaut! I think that I'm gonna drag this guy with me back into the hole I crawled out from.

(Zombie Irwin drags Teasel into the underworld as Data walks up.)

Data - That was… unexpected. Still, this is like Final Destination. They survive for like a second after they would've died, then they die in another manner. Kida gay if you ask me.

(The giant Monty Python foot comes down as squishes Data. MSX walks in.)

MSX - Yes, I know. I was intending to parody the movie itself, but it wouldn't work out. Hence, the lack of quality in this chapter. We still have one more person to kill.

(A Servbot appears.)

MSX - Observe.

(MSX zaps him with a stun gun, burns him with a flamethrower, cuts him in half with a chainsaw, stabs him with a knife, blows him up with a grenade, and farts on him. The Servbot stands up and brushes himself off.)

Servbot - That hurt.

MSX - Ugh. This could take a while.

* * *

Next time: Learn the history of Johnny Chainsawfingers. 


	10. Edward Scissorhands Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #11

A Parody of Edward Scissorhands

By: The Zero series

* * *

(Zero, who has four chainsaws strapped to each hand, walks up.)

Zero - I'm a fucking emo!

(The scene changes into a room.)

Ciel - Snuggle in, sweetie. It's cold out there.

Alouette - Why is it snowing? Where did it come from?

Ciel - Well, that's a long story. You see, one day, God got a horrible case of dandruff…

(Ciel sits down.)

Ciel - Anyways, there was once a man who had chainsaws for fingers. There was once an inventor who lived up there in that mansion. He once created a man. He gave him insides, a heart, a brain, everything. Well, almost everything. I don't think that he could've sexual enjoyed himself if you catch my drift.

Alouette - Did he have a name.

Ciel - Of course. His name was Johnny.

(Leviathan rings the door bell and a Pantheon opens it.)

Leviathan - Hello, slut. I mean, Joyce! Joyce.

(Leviathan goes to a different house.)

Leviathan - There was Prostituion Purple, which looked charming on you, and Whore White, which was also good.

Pantheon - I am programmed to agree with you on both subjects.

Leviathan - Excellent!

Pantheon - Do you recall that I am without funds?

(Leviathan punches out the Pantheon.)

Leviathan - Do you recall that I have fists.

(Leviathan goes up to the castle and enters the garden where there are numerous bushes of people in sexual positions.)

Leviathan - Oh my… So beautiful… I didn't know you could do that…

(Zero walks towards Leviathan.)

Leviathan - What happened to you…

(Zero swings his chainsaw fingers at her wildly.)

Zero - Bitch, I've got fucking chainsaws for fingers! What the hell do you think happened?

Leviathan - Well, I'm stupid, so I'll invite you home with me!

(In the car, Zero notices kids playing with a Slip & Slide. He points to it, but cuts off the steering wheel on accident.)

Leviathan - Well, shit. Nice going, Johnny.

(In the room, Johnny tries putting on a shirt, but fails horribly. When Leviathan reenters the room, he's wearing a shirt like pants.)

Leviathan - I guess it works.

(At dinner, Zero tries to eat, but cannot.)

Zero - Ah, fuck it.

(Zero slams him face into the plate of food and begins eating like a pig.)

(The next morning, everyone gets into their cars and Zero screams.)

Zero - All the houses look exactly the same! It's a conspiracy! A conspiracy!!

(In the yard, everyone watches as Zero uses his chainsaw fingers to make a bush sculpture of a penis. Later, Zero makes a giant vagina.)

Zero - I think it balances it out. Penis over there, cootchie over here. It's perfectly logical!

(Just then, some crazy woman walks up.)

Woman - Blah blah blah… I'm far too religious!

Zero - Leave or I'll show your my fast fingers of doom!

(Outside, as Leviathan talks to the neighbors, the woman walks up again.)

Woman - Blah blah blah… I'm still too religious!

(As Copy X looks at a heart-shaped cookie, he looks at a robot.)

Copy X - Maybe I could turn a robot into a cookie robot… Hmmm…

(Later, during the barbecue, Zero looks at the food that is haphazardly placed on his fingers.)

Zero - Who wants to risk their life to try a shish kabob?

(That night, as Ciel enters her room, she looks in the mirror.)

Zero - -in creepy tone- Hi…

(Ciel freaks out. Later, in the bar, Zero drinks lemonade then spits it out.)

Zero - What are you trying to do? Poison me?!

(The next day, Ciel is walking down the street with Phantom. She looks at all of the genital-relate bush sculptures.)

Ciel - I think they look weird.

(At the dinner table.)

Harpuia - You can't buy a car with cookies. Am I right?

Phantom - Actually, I beg to differ.

(The next day, Zero begins using his fingers to groom dogs. However, for the finishing touch, he accidentally kills one.)

Pantheon - I can always purchase another one!

(On the talk show, Zero gets zapped and falls backwards. Later, in the empty salon, the Pantheon begins stripping off its' clothes.)

Zero - stands up- I'm gone.

(Outside of the bank, Leviathan pulls out a rocket launcher.)

Leviathan - Well, time to finish that dickhead off. -reenters bank-

(That night, everyone breaks and enters a house.)

Zero - This person stole from you? -raises fingers- I'll kill 'em!

Phantom - That's the spirit!

Policeman - Drop your weapon!

Zero - Okay, Mr. Pig. Give me a knife and I'll cut off my fucking hands!!

(Later, as Zero is released.)

Woman - I saw the sign of Satan on him.

Zero - Bitch, I'll show you Satan. -revs fingers- Rip & tear! Rip & tear!!

(Moments later, Ciel walks in.)

Ciel - You knew it was Jim's house?

Zero - Yes.

Ciel - Then, why'd you do it?

Zero - 'Cause I felt like it, okay?! I had nothing better to do!

(Phantom whistles and causes Ciel to go outside.)

Zero - This pisses me off. Time for some vandalism. -begins ripping the curtains-

(Later, at dinner.)

Harpuia - Johnny, we're waiting.

Zero - E. I use the money to finance my war against the humans. Uh… I mean… C?

(Later, as Zero is sculpting a penis out of ice, Ciel begins dancing in the snow.)

Phantom - Hey!

(Zero spins around and cuts Ciel's head off.)

Zero - Oops…

(As Zero rampages down the street, he cuts down a penis-shaped bush, then winces before continuing his rampage. Then, as Zero is sitting down, a dog walks up. He cuts the dog's head off and smiles, then turns to the police car that's approaching him.)

Zero - The fuzz… -runs off-

(In the flashback, Copy X has a heart attack.)

Copy X - Ow! Heart attack!

(As Zero and Ciel embrace, Zero notices a car that's swerving out of control.)

Zero - Shortie…

(Zero runs outside and tackles Fefnir to the ground, then begins slashing at his face.)

Zero - Are you okay? How 'bout now? Now? You okay now?

(At the castle, the policeman fires at Zero.)

Policeman - Blam! Blam! Blam!

Zero - -is bleeding- You asshole… I'll kill you!!

(Phantom hits Ciel and Zero impales him on a chainsaw finger.)

Zero - Enjoy Hell, fuckface!! -throws Phantom out of the window-

Ciel - I love you.

Zero - You do know that means that you're gonna die, right?

Ciel - What? -gets stabbed-

Zero - Sorry, babe. Gotta go with the flow, right?

Alouette - Then, how are you alive…

(Ciel is slumped over in her chair.)

Alouette - Grandma? Grandman?!

(Zero spontaneously appears in the room.)

Zero - I can make you feel better…

(Alouette screams and the screen goes black.)

* * *

Next time: The Battle Network series goes on the hunt for a man named Waldo. 


	11. Where's Waldo? Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

* * *

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #12

A Parody of Where's Waldo?

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

(Megaman, who has on a red shirt and is wearing a red bobble cap tiptoes by the screen. Seconds later, Protoman walks in.)

Protoman - I have the sudden urge to find a red bobble hat-wearing fruitcake named Waldo.

(Roll, who's dressed like an old man, walks up.)

Protoman - Gasp. Who are you?

Roll - I am Wizard Whitebeard!

Protoman - That's original!

Roll - I know! If you need to find Waldo, you must first locate the most useless of items.

Protoman - Such as?

Roll - Keys, dogs, women, copycats, me, and just people doing stupid-as-hell stuff in general.

Protoman - Sounds like fun!

Roll - It's a good way to waste an hour or two of your life.

Protoman - Alrighty! Let's go! -runs off-

Roll - Douchebag…

Protoman - Whoa! First, I was in the internet. Now I'm in Kansas! My god! I traveled across the world in the time it took to flip a page of a book.

(Insert long awkward silence here.)

Protoman - Anyways…

Booming Voice - Find a man juggling chainsaws.

(In the distance, Protoman hears a man screaming bloody murder.)

Protoman - Alright!

Booming Voice - Find a pickle barrel.

(Within minutes, Protoman finds a barrel made out of pickles.)

Protoman - Alright!

Booming Voice - Find fifteen ashtrays.

Protoman - Okay!

(Two years later…)

Protoman - I only found fourteen!! Can't that count?!

Booming Voice - NO!!

(Two more years later…)

Protoman - Oh, who the hell taped an ashtray to my hair?

(Megaman peeks around the corner, then takes off.)

Protoman - You're mine now, asshole!

(Protoman jumps across the page and winds up in Egypt.)

Protoman - Holy smokes! It happened again!

Booming Voice - Find…

Protoman - Go to Hell…

(Protoman gets struck by lightning.)

Protoman - Yes, oh great and powerful voice of all… speaking… ness…

(Minutes later, Protoman finds the word 'Find'.)

Booming Voice - Find a microphone.

Protoman - In Egypt?

Booming Voice - It's not my problem.

(Two weeks later…)

Protoman - Who's of thought that King Tut was a famous singer in Egyptian Idol?

Booming Voice - Find the severed head of Bob Barker,

Protoman - What?!

(Protoman turns around to an Egyptian auction. One of the items up for bid is Bob Barker's severed head.)

Protoman - Ugh…

Booming Voice - Minutes later…

Protoman - I best be repaid for all of this.

(Protoman jumps the page and finds himself in a navy armada.)

Protoman - Aw hell…

Booming Voice - Find a bucket.

Protoman - Okay…

(Several minutes pass.)

Protoman - No one on this ship has a bucket.

Booming Voice - I SAID FIND A BUCKET!!

Protoman - Ah! Don't kill me!

(After swimming from boat to boat, he finally finds one.)

Booming Voice - Good. Find water.

(Protoman looks into the ocean.)

Booming Voice - Natural spring water!!

Protoman - You asshole!!

(Again, Protoman is forced to swim from boat to boat to find a bottle of spring water.)

Booming Voice - Excellent…

Protoman - When I find Wizard Whatever, I'm going to stab him in the face.

Booming Voice - You do that.

(Protoman jumps across another page and finds himself in a world full of Waldo look-alikes.)

Protoman - Last page already?

Booming Voice - We… uh… have monetary troubles…

Protoman - Right… Well, there's one way to solve this…

(Protoman summons the Elec Sword and begins cutting through the Waldos.)

Waldo #1 - Run! It's a psycho killa!

Waldo #2 - It's-a me, Waldo!

Waldo #3 - Yo queiro mi pantelons!!

Waldo $4 - What's all the fuss aboot, eh?

Protoman - So many cultures… So many Waldos! So little time!!

(Half an hour later, all of the Waldos are either dead or dying.)

Protoman - -panting- Asswankers.

(Megaman pokes his head over Protoman's left shoulder.)

Megaman - Where am I? Am I here…

(Megaman walks to Protoman's right side.)

Megaman - …or am I over here? Or maybe…

(Megaman hides behind Protoman.)

Megaman - …I'm nowhere…

(Protoman stabs Megaman with the sword.)

Protoman - Or maybe you're going to be in the ground for the rest of eternity!

Megaman - Sounds good… -dies-

Roll - Excellent! You've killed Waldo and freed the Earth from a terrible curse.

Protoman - What curse?!

Roll - Millennia ago, Satan made a man so evil, he had to have the most evil of names: Waldo. He sent him to Earth to wander aimlessly for the rest of time and, at random times, he would get people to follow him. They are called Waldo Watchers and they're the bastard children of Satan! The only way to kill them is too…

(Protoman stabs Roll.)

Protoman - That got real boring, real fast.

(MSX walks in.)

Booming Voice - Sorry about the…

(MSX throws a microphone offstage.)

MSX - Sorry about the length of this parody, but there really isn't much to Where's Waldo? to make fun of. Thus, short chapter, but…

* * *

Next time: The X series rips on one of the greatest cult classic games of all time. 


	12. Ico Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #13

A Parody of Ico

By: The X series

* * *

(A news camera fizzes on.)

Reporter - I am here at the scene of a horrible accident. Apparently, some kind of castle that no one's been into for years collapsed and fell into the sea. With me now are the two survivors.

(The camera turns to Axl, who has a cloth with blood stains wrapped around his head, and Alia, who's looking at a bird intently.)

Reporter - You say you were in the castle?

Axl - Yeah, I'm the one who caused it to collapse.

Reporter - How so?

Axl - Well…

(The bird Alia was staring at explodes.)

Axl - …it's a long story…

(The screen fades out and fades back in to a younger Alia standing by Berkana's side.)

Berkana - Are you the interior designer?

Richard Simmons - Yes, and may I be the first to say that this place looks fabtastic! But, it's missing the Simmons touch.

Berkana - Which is…

Richard Simmons - I'm thinking… glowing green couches. Everywhere! Even outside on cliffsides! Just glowing couches. Everywhere! Put them in spots that couches shouldn't be!

Berkana - That's crazy. I like it.

(A bird that young Alia has been staring at explodes.)

Berkana - Stop that! Don't make me bring out the prod!

(The screen flashes forward to a few years later.)

Alia - Can I play?

Layer - You haven't even asked what we're playing.

Alia - Does that mean yes?

Pallette - Fine. You're the seeker. But where should you count? There!

(Pallette points to a cage that's floating in the middle of a circular room.)

Alia - Okay! -gets into cage- Here goes. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Eight. Twelve. Thirty-seven. Eight hundred and nine. Two thousand and sixteen. One million, one hundred eighteen thousand, seven hundred and two. Nine billion…

Layer - You just want to leave?

Pallette - Sure.

(The two walk off as Alia continues counting. The screen flashes forward to a few years.)

Alia - Five gajillion and twenty-five hundred million. Uh… Ten! -looks around- Guys? Hello? Anyone? Aw…

(The screen changes to another larger room where Axl, who has plastic horns strapped to his head, is being dragged to a cell. There is a dart sticking out of his butt and he is mumbling about llamas. The guards put him in a cell and walk off.)

Guard 1 - Aren't we supposed to sacrifice horned children only?

Guard 2 - Yeah.

Guard 1 - So, why'd we strap plastic horns on his head?

Guard 2 - He's the village idiot. Everyone wants him gone.

Guard 1 - Oh.

(The camera zooms in on the cell that Axl is being held in.)

Axl - -imitating walkie-talkie- You are cleared for liftoff.

(The cell begins rocking back and forth before the cell falls over and Axl falls out, landing on his neck. Axl sits up and looks around. He then looks down at himself.)

Axl - Houston… We have a problem… -passes out-

(Axl finds his way to a large, circular staircase. He walks up as black stuff begins pouring out of a cage. The form of a woman begins to take shape.)

Axl - Score!

(Suddenly, the woman is turned into a large black ball.)

Axl - What the…

(Suddenly, music begins playing and blobs of the black stuff begin to shoot at Axl. He screams, then wakes up.)

Axl - Ah! -looks around- Damn that Bio-Devil…

(Axl stands up, looks around, and runs off in a random direction. He pulls the dart out of his butt and holds it like a dagger as he climbs up the stairs to where Alia is sitting in the cage.)

Axl - Hello? Mr. Devil?

(Alia looks up and waves.)

Axl - Please don't shoot your blobs of doom at me. I can't memorize the pattern you'll shoot them, thus making the battle that much easier.

(After determining that Alia isn't the Bio-Devil, he runs up the stairs and jumps onto the cage. It falls to the ground where Axl falls off.)

Axl - My butt! Ooh… A 2X4… -picks up stick-

(Alia walks up and reaches towards Axl. She pokes him on the head, then begins dancing.)

Alia - Yay! I'm not it anymore!

Axl - What the fuck did you just say?

(Suddenly, a black person picks up Alia.)

Samuel L. Jackson - I'll be on my way now.

MSX - Wrong black person.

(The camera fizzes and this time, Sigma picks up Alia.)

Axl - Cool. I get to hit Sigma with a stick.

(Axl does so and grabs Alia. They find a way outside and Axl screams before covering his eyes.)

Axl - Oh my God! The blurred graphics! I can't take it!

(Axl flips over the side of a bridge and falls several hundreds stories to the water below. He chooses to retry and he pops back at the door which he just entered.)

Axl - Again!

(Axl flips over the bridge, then respawns at the door.)

Axl - Okay, let's take a look here. -looks around- I've got it! We're stuck in a castle!

Alia - Brilliant deduction.

Axl - Okay, either shut up or speak my language.

Alia - Horned freak.

Axl - Bitch…

(Time passes, then the two enter a large courtyard.)

Axl - I just got the feeling of Deja-Vu… Oh well…

(A little later, Axl and Alia find themselves in the same courtyard.)

Axl - Yep, definitely Deja-Vu.

(More black people crawl out of a hole in the ground.)

Chris Rock - Come with us…

Eddie Murphy - It's no use resisting…

Martin Luther King Jr. - I had a dream that you became one of us…

Eminem - Man, let's grab the bitch and go! Jiggity-gee!

Axl - Ah! Black people! Time for Offense Maneuver Number Forty-Three! -throws the stick at them- Be gone!

(The black people look at the stick, then continue advancing.)

Axl - That one never seems to work… Oh well. Plan B.

(Axl picks up Alia and swings on a vine in a very Indiana Jones-like fashion.)

Axl - We should be safe here.

(Another black portal opens up in the room.)

Axl - God dammit!

(After fending of the black people with a piece of watermelon, which was cut out of the game for some reason, Axl and Alia go outside to where the doors are open. But first…)

MSX - I'm still not racist!

(Back to the parody…)

Axl - Open doors! Yeah!

(Axl drags Alia along as the doors close.)

Axl - Figures.

(A wispy black figure appears behind them.)

Axl - Ah! Berkana!

Berkana - Blah blah blah. Blah _blah_ blah blah blahblah!

Alia - Blah blah _blah_ blahblah.

Berkana - Blah blah blah blahblah, blah _blah_ **_blah_**!

Axl - I have no idea what they're saying…

(Here's a translation.)

Berkana - Did you catch the game last night? That bastard _missed_ the ball!

Alia - He's freaking _blind_, Mother.

Berkana - I'm not your mother, you _stupid **bitch**_!

Axl - I'm a fucking idiot.

(Onward!)

Axl - Why do I get the feeling the I just dissed myself?

Berkana - Anyhoo, look. You can't take her. I need her to continue on living. Blah blah blah. Yadda yadda. All that jazz.

Axl - Speak in a language I can understand!

Berkana - I have been… Retard… -vanishes-

Axl - Well, looks like we're going the long way.

Alia - Oh joy…

Axl - English, please!!

(Later, Axl makes a light shine and light up half the door.)

Axl - Shiny… -screams as he slips and falls to his death-

(Axl respawns next to Alia.)

Axl - Damn slippery sides.

(Even later, Axl lights up the second half.)

Axl - My, my. That part of the game was _awfully_ repetitive. Anyways, the door is open.

(Alia uses her powers and opens the door. They make a run for it, but Alia slips. Axl exchanges looks between freedom and Alia. He pulls out a bundle of money, then tosses to her.)

Axl - Buy yourself some shoes. -makes a run for it- I'm free! Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

(Alia watches as he falls through the holographic part of the bridge and falls to his apparent death.)

Alia - You're evil.

Berkana - Duh! Now take a good look at this.

(Alia turns to Flame Hyenard.)

Alia - Ack! It's hideous! -turns to stone-

Hyenard - I hate life.

Life - And I hate you!

(Elsewhere, Axl comes to and looks around.)

Axl - How convenient… I land on a cage that's here for no reason.

-Flashback-

Richard Simmons - Oh, one more thing! We need cages hanging on the outside of the castle. That ought to keep the neighbors off of the property.

Berkana - There are no neighbors.

Richard Simmons - It's working already!

-End Flashback-

Axl - Weird…

(Axl makes his way back into the castle and comes across a sword.)

Axl - Neat-o! It's shiny… -gazes into space, then snaps out of it- Onward to kill the Queen for no reason!

(Moments later, Axl finds himself where he started.)

Axl - Why does this seem familiar?

(Axl looks around as the camera reveals that he is standing on a square in the middle of the room with a number one painted on the inside of it. Suddenly, the spirits of the previous horned children begin attacking.)

Axl - Ah! Too many horny people!

MSX - Sorry, folks. I had to it. -smiles innocently-

Axl - Hey, you! Go long!

(Axl throws a football and one of the spirits attempts to grab it, but is shattered when the ball tears through it.)

Axl - Heh… Weird…

(Moments pass and all of the spirits are gone.)

Axl - Wow… You guys really suck at sports. Hey, an Alia statue!

(Axl admires the statue before walking into the next room.)

Axl - That's a nice statue. It looks almost like the real thing.

Berkana - It is the real thing.

Axl - Don't flatter yourself. I'm sure it cost a lot. Now, where was I? Ah, yes!

(Axl is thrown back into the wall, causing one of the plastic horns to fall off.)

Axl - You… bitch…

(Axl stabs the Queen and, when she dies, Axl is thrown against the wall, losing the other horn. Alia is freed, but is completely black.)

Alia - Look at this place! I need to hire an interior decorator pronto!

Richard Simmons - Circus tents! We need big giant circus ten-

Alia - BE GONE!! Oh, Axl… Aw, hell…

(Alia sighs, then picks him up. Though he is unconscious, he continuously farts until Alia puts him in a boat and shoves him off.)

Alia - And take your farts with you!

(Hours later, Axl comes to and runs down the beach where he finds Alia.)

Alia - -mutters something-

Axl - What?

Alia - I said… -mutters something-

Axl - Subtitles… Where are the subtitles? I don't know what you're saying without the subtitles!!

(The camera flashes forward.)

Axl - …and that's when you walked up.

Reporter - So, what's with the bloody rag?

(Axl raises an eyebrow, then takes the clothes off of his head.)

Axl - Oh! That's where my napkin went.

* * *

Next time: Flashman steps into the ring for a sequel. 


	13. Rocky II Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #14

A Parody of Rocky II

By: The Classic series

* * *

MSX - Greetings. Before we get started, I would like to warn you that this chapter is overly-racial and is still purely for comedic content. I mean nothing by it. Now, let's begin… 

(During the opening fight, Flashman begins beating on Bass.)

Flashman - KKK strikes again, negro!

Bass - You're going down, cracka!

(At the hospital, it happens again.)

Bass - Get up out of that chair, honky!

Flashman - You're mine, tarbaby!

(A little bit later, a nurse comes in.)

Flashman - What happened?

Nurse - That nigger broke your nose!

(Flashman suddenly becomes violent and the nurse struggles to keep him in the bed. Outside, Flashman and Roll walk away.)

Random Man - What could be more important than this deal?

Flashman - I dunno… The second coming of Jesus. World peace. The extinction of African-Americans. That sort of thing…

(As Flashman and Roll kiss, Neon Tiger scoffs.)

Tiger - Worst proposal ever.

(As they are married, the priest says something, then turns to Rocky.)

Priest - Si?

Flashman - Whatever you say so, wetback…

(In the alleyway, the group begins singing a song 'just for Rocky'.)

Group - We don't want niggers in our schools! Don't care for integration!

Flashman - I'll be leaving now…

(In the bedroom, Roll is laid on the bed, then Flashman begins laughing like a pervert.)

Roll - Sorry, I didn't agree to that. -rolls over-

Flashman - Nooooooooo…

Roll - And this isn't the Star Wars parody yet!

(The next morning, the two get a car.)

Flashman - I'm sorry. This car is black. Do you have anything in a bright white?

(While on their shopping spree, Flashman stops by a gun store.)

Flashman - Excuse me.

Clerk - May I help you?

Flashman - I'm looking for a gun.

Clerk - Any specific type?

Flashman - One that'll down a nigger in a shot or two.

(A long silence follows.)

Clerk - I got just the thing for you.

Roll - Oh no…

(The clerk puts a shotgun on the counter.)

Clerk - Rumor has it that this gun was carved out of wood by the Six Flags guy.

Flashman - Ain't this gun metal?

Clerk - That's the mysterious part.

Roll - I'm gonna wait in the car.

(On a set for an advertisement, Flashman is prepared for filming.)

Random Guy - We just wanted to wait until the swelling went down.

Flashman - I know. Creams work miracles these days, don't they?

Roll - Consider me disgusted. -walks off-

(After filming for a few hours, the director steams off.)

Flashman - Four hours? We've barely wasted four minutes!

(In the meat factory, Flashman laughs out loud.)

Flashman - This will make great practice when I storm Detroit with a machete and two .45s.

(Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at him.)

Flashman - What? Am I thinking out loud again?

Employee - Our boss is black!

Flashman - I'll start with him!

(After Flashman is fired, he walks off.)

Flashman - Nigger.

Boss - What'd you say?

(Flashman puts his face within an inch of his boss' face.)

Flashman - I said 'nig-ger'!

(Downstairs, the two have a conversation.)

Roll - I could… get my job back at the…

Flashman - Corner of Fifth and Madison?

Roll - You know what? You'd better find another job or I'll cut your balls off with a rusty hacksaw.

Flashman - -quietly- Yes, ma'am.

(In the gym, as Iceman slaps Flashman, he punches Iceman back.)

Flashman - Douche.

Roll - By special request by me, the following scenes have been edited out of the parody because things would get just to perverted.

(As Roll comes out of a coma, she is handed Infinity Mijinion.)

Mijinion - Show me dem titties!!

(Roll screams, throws him into the air, and brings the cover over her head.)

Roll - Happy place! Happy place! Happy place!

(After Roll calms down, she pulls Flashman closer.)

Roll - Do something for me. Kick that nigger back to Africa.

Iceman - What are we waitin' for?! Let's go!!

(As the Rocky music starts, Flashman laughs again.)

Flashman - This is my nigger-beating music! Oh yeah!!

(As the match begins, Flashman puts in his mouthguard.)

Bass - -muffled- You're goin' down.

Flashman - -muffled- You're gonna have a cross burned in your front lawn.

(At the beginning of the fifteenth round, Flashman and Bass get in each other's faces again.)

Bass - Prepare to die, ya cracka honky foo!

Flashman - I'm gonna kick your ass not 'cause you're black now, but 'cause you just said that.

(Once Flashman wins, he grabs the microphone.)

Flashman - I did it! I did it! I proved that there is no greater power than white power!!

Jack Thompson - This _has_ to be the work of the evil video games!

(Flashman pauses, then punches him out.)

Flashman - Shut the fuck up! You're worse off than they are!

* * *

Next time: The Legends and Battle Network series discover the true horror of feathered fiends. 


	14. The Birds Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #15

A Parody of The Birds

By: The Legends & Battle Network series

* * *

(As parody starts, Roll walks in.) 

Roll - Wait a minute. Why is this parody in black and white?

MSX - I decided that I couldn't afford color.

(As Roll Casket walks down the street, she looks up and sees a bunch of penguins flying around with jetpacks. Then, as Trigger walks up the stairs, he asks Roll for assistance.)

Roll - What are you looking for, sir?

Trigger - I'm looking for dead birds.

Roll - Dead birds?

Trigger - Yes, I've heard there are several varieties.

Roll - There are, sir.

Trigger - Good, then may I see you're dead parrots?

(Glyde, dressed as John Cleese, walks by and hands him a dead parrot.)

Glyde - Here. You can have mine. It... is an ex-parrot.

Roll - Are you sure you wouldn't want to see one of our canaries? We have some very lovely…

(Glyde walks back up.)

Glyde - Show him the parrots or I will make you an ex-person!

Trigger - Let me correct myself. I saw you in court.

Roll - When?

Trigger - Way back with the case of the molested boy.

Roll - I didn't molest him.

Trigger - Maybe not, but you're hand did. The judge should've given you a medal. That boy had it coming.

(Outside, Roll looks at Trigger's license plate. It reads 'OH BALLS'.)

Roll - Do you have any dead parrots?

Shop Owner - No, not in the shop.

Roll - How soon can you get one?

(A thump is heard.)

Shop Owner - Got one!

(Roll smiles.)

Roll - Perfect.

(As Roll drives to the bay, she has the dead parrot mounted on her hood like a hood ornament. In the bay, Roll enters a shop.)

Roll - Where's he live?

(Wily sighs and walks outside with Roll.)

Wily - See where I'm pointing?

Roll - Yes.

(Wily smacks Roll.)

Wily - Right there, ya dunce.

(After some brief, boring moments, Roll rides across the bay in a boat as the town behind her explodes. Later, as Roll attempts to start the boat, Trigger runs inside and comes out with a Viewfinder. He begins looking at pictures of Roll looking at him. Then, as Roll slowly rides up to the dock, a penguin flies down and scratches her head.)

Roll - Damn rabid penguins.

(As Trigger cleans up the cut, Roll cries out.)

Roll - Ow! That peroxide was awfully cold on that part of my head.

(After dinner and whatnot, Trigger watches Roll drive off, then looks at the telephone wires, which are covered in penguins.)

Trigger - Mom! Mommy! The birds are conspiring again!"

(After their conversation, Roll and Roll.EXE open the door where the remains of a penguin lay.)

Roll.EXE - Poor thing. Must've lost it's way in the dark.

Roll - Nah, I think it was a wardrobe malfunction.

(When seagulls start attacking, Glyde flips out.)

Glyde - It's a conspiracy! I knew it! I knew this day would come! To the bird shelter!

(Glyde runs off. When Tron goes into the room of her friend's house, she looks in and sees Bass, who's had his pecker chewed off... by a pecker. Ha ha. Later, outside of the school, Roll turns around to the playground, which is filled with Birdbots.)

Roll - What happened to the penguins?

MSX - To many problems with the jetpacks.

(In the diner, the birds attack again.)

Appo - Are the birds going to eat me, mommy?

Shu - If you don't hurry up and eat, I'll feed you to them myself.

(As Zero drops the match, his car explodes and the gas ignites. It spells out 'You're fucked'.)

Shu - I think you're evil. Evil!

(Roll stabs Shu in the face, then turns to the kids.)

Roll - Congrats, kids. I'm your new mom. Do as I say, or prepare to make reservations for an audience with Mr. Death.

(Later, as the birds begin squawking, Tron and Medi run to a wall.)

Tron - Quick! Now let's hide over here!

(They run to another wall.)

Tron - And now to that one!

(They run to yet another wall.)

Tron - One more oughtta confuse them!

(They keep running.)

Tron - Last one for safety!

(While the others sleep, Roll hears a voice come from upstairs. It says 'Come up here if you want to be pwned by Birdbots…' She goes up there and gets pwned by Birdbots. Trigger drags her out of the room seconds later. Roll comes to and begins clawing at Trigger.)

Trigger - No! No! It's alright!

Roll - No, it isn't! You're still ugly!!"

(Trigger goes outside where hundreds of Birdbots sit. One of them is holding a sign that reads 'Welcome to Hell, bitch.')

Medi - Can I bring the lovebirds along? They haven't hurt anyone.

(Trigger looks at Medi.)

Trigger - You're going to die in your sleep. Leave 'em.

(As Trigger drives off, he pokes his head out of the window.)

Trigger - This ending abso-fucking-lutely sucks! It deserves to go out with a bang!

(The car explodes and MSX walks up onto the porch.)

MSX - How 'bout a boom? Well done, my fine-feathered brethren. Onto the next city, then the next country, and then… the world! Mwahahaha!!

* * *

Next time: The Zero and Classic series parody the greatest comedic team in history. 


	15. A Tribute To Monty Python

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #15

A Parody Tribute To Monty Python

By: The Zero/ Classic series

* * *

(King walks in with Ciel.)

King - I mean it! I never wanted to be an evil robot overlord. I wanted to be…

Ciel - Oh boy.

(King rips off his nonexistent clothes and reveals a red plaid shirt and overalls.)

King - A lumberjack!! -starts singing- I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay! I work all night and I sleep all day!

(The Neo Arcadian Guardians run in.)

Guardians - He's a lumberjack and he's okay! He sleeps all night and works all day!

King - I cut down trees. I wear high heels, suspenders, and a bra! I wish I'd been a girly just like dear papa!

(The music scratches.)

Harpuia - Was your father a cross-dresser or something?

King - Why you… You… -exasperated growl-

(King walks into a nearby building and enters a door.)

(A.N. I called Copy X 'Omega' since before Zero 3 came out. To prevent further confusion, I will call Copy X 'Copy X'. Bam! No more problem.)

King - I want to have an argument.

Copy X - Why?!

King - Um… Well… Harpuia hurt my…

Copy X - You're what?! You're feelings?! Well, you must be one of them girly men, then, huh?!

King - -begins tearing up- I just wanted an argument!

Copy X - Oh, I'm sorry. This is Abuse. Arguments are next door.

King - -recovers- Oh, thank you.

(King leaves and enters the next room.)

King - I'd like to have an argument.

Frostman - -smoking Woodman… again…- Arguments are the next room.

(King looks at the door which reads 'Argument Clinic'.)

King - This is the argument room.

Frostman - No, it's not.

King - Yes, it is.

Frostman - No, it's not.

King - Yes, it is.

Frostman - No, it's not.

King - Yes, it is!

Frostman - No, it's not!

King - Look! The sign reads 'Argument Clinic'!

Frostman - No, it doesn't.

(King throws his hands up and leaves. He then heads to a nearby store.)

King - I'd like something to take my mind off of that place.

Phantom - How 'bout some cheese?

King - Got any Gouda?

Phantom - No.

King - Oh. How about Limburger?

Phantom - No.

King - American?

Phantom - No.

King - Cheddar?

Phantom - No.

King - Monterey Jack?

Phantom - No.

King - Parmesan?

Phantom - No.

King - Do you even have cheese?

Phantom - Yes.

King - -draws axe- I'm going to ask you again and if the answer's no, I'm going to kill you. Do you have any cheese?

Phantom - No.

(King cuts Phantom in half, then goes home. He immediately notices Bass sitting on his couch.)

Bass - Who's the bird?

King - Ah, that's Paulie, the Norwegian Blue I just bought.

Bass - Looks dead.

(Upon closer inspection, it is revealed that the parrot is dead and it's been nailed to its' perch.)

King - Excuse me a moment.

(King opens the door and Wily walks in.)

Wily - I feel that this parody is getting too silly. Now, I order you all to cease and desist!

King - Go to hell. -walks off-

Wily - But, of course…

(King is walking along the coast as Clyde falls down a nearby hill and takes five minutes to get up to him.)

Clyde - It's…

King - …the end of the parody! Er… I mean, tribute. Parody. Stuff. Ah, screw it. -walks off-

* * *

Next time: I make yet another Family Feud parody. 


	16. Yet Another Family Feud Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #16

Yet Another Family Feud Parody

By: The Battle Network/ Zero series

* * *

(Omega walks up to the podium.)

Omega - Yeah, yeah. Family Feud. Blah blah blah. Team 1, Team 2. Blah blah blah. Let's play.

(Megaman exchanges looks with Roll, Glyde, Gutsman, and Bass. Likewise, Copy X, Phantom, Harpuia, Leviathan, and Fefnir exchanges looks.)

Omega - Megaman. Fakeman. Front and center.

Copy X - It's Copy X!

Omega - No, it's time to play.

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

Omega - Question One. Name a parody that MSX should make you make, but hasn't yet.

(Megaman buzzes in.)

Omega - Megaman?

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_Megaman - 1_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

Omega - I hate life.

Copy X - Um… Casablanca?

MSX - Go sit down before I kill you.

Omega - I guess not.

(Omega walks to the left with Megaman.)

Omega - You there.

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_Megaman - 1_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

Omega - Assholes.

Roll - Um… The Exorcist.

Omega - Saw it. Hated it. It's overrated. Survey says…

MSX - Amen to that!

(Everyone turns to MSX, who is wearing a 'Hello, My Name Is Survey' nametag.)

Omega - Other survey says…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_Megaman - 1_

_The Exorcist - 1_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

Omega - Glyde?

Glyde - Family Feud?

Omega - Name of an unmade parody, dumbass. Not of the show. It's not…

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Family Feud - 98_

_Megaman - 1_

_The Exorcist - 1_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

Omega - That's just gay… I mean, this is a Family Feud parody.

MSX - And it won't be the last!

Omega - Oh God… Gutsman?

Gutsman - Twenty-seven.

Omega - -moves on- Bass?

(Bass says nothing.)

Omega - -moves up- Megaman?

Bass - I wasn't finished.

Omega - -moves back- Well?

Bass - …football…

Omega - -moves up- Megaman?

Megaman - Ishtar?

Omega - Isn't that on the list of worst movies ever?

(MSX runs behind the survey and returns with a panel that reads, 'George Bush'.)

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Family Feud - 95_

_Megaman - 1_

_The Exorcist - 1_

_---------- - --_

_Ishtar - 1_

Omega - Roll?

Roll - Um…

(Just then, Phantom's angel rises into the sky.)

Omega - Hmm… Died of boredom.

Roll - Where's his halo?

_Ding!_

_Board:_

_Family Feud - 98_

_Megaman - 1_

_The Exorcist - 1_

_Halo - 1_

_Ishtar - 1_

MSX - Right there!

Omega - Okay, Megaman. Next question. Name a worthless human emotion.

Megaman - I'm… a computer program. I don't truly feel emotion.

Omega - Excellent answer! Next question!

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

(Roll and Phantom's body are moved to the podium.)

Roll - Do I have to shake his hand?

Omega - Baby, you don't have to do anything but answer this question. Name an absolutely one-sided fight that has been drawn out for to long because everyone is a fucking moron when it comes to that stuff.

Roll - Uh… Cheese?

_Ding!_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_Dr. Eggman vs. Cheese - Winner: Cheese_

Omega - Phantom.

(Insert long silence here.)

Omega - Take him away. -walks up to Glyde- Well?

Glyde - I've always been a fan of those Jack Sparrow movies.

Omega - You mean ninj… I mean, pirate movies, eh?

_Ding!_

_Pirates vs. Ninjas - Winner: Ninjas_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_Dr. Eggman vs. Cheese - Winner: Cheese_

Random Guy - Boo! Ninjas suck ass!

(The stage goes silent and everyone turns to him.)

MSX - Name one thing that pirates do that ninjas can't do a thousand times better.

Random Guy - Get scurvy?

_Ding!_

_Get scurvy - Pirate-loving bastard!_

MSX - You win the prize!

Random Guy - What's the prize?

MSX - Death!

(MSX bites the man's head off, then burps loudly.)

MSX - If you'll excuse me, I must now hurry to a ninja dojo and cleanse myself. -runs off-

Omega - Right… So, where were we? Ah, yes! Bass?

Bass - Where's Metal Sonic EX going?

_Ding!_

_Pirates vs. Ninjas - Winner: Ninjas_

_Sonic vs. Mario - Winner: Sonic_

_---------- - --_

_Dr. Eggman vs. Cheese - Winner: Cheese_

Omega - Lucky guess. What… Where's Gutsman?

(Gutsman is in the stands smoking a Plantman next to Frostman.)

Frostman - I tried Plantman once. Bastard gave me the shits.

Omega - Well, now it's even. So, Megaman?

(Megaman shrugs.)

_Ding!_

_Pirates vs. Ninjas - Winner: Ninjas_

_Sonic vs. Mario - Winner: Sonic_

_-shrugs- - Winner: I dunno_

_Dr. Eggman vs. Cheese - Winner: Cheese_

Omega - Right. Well, one more to go.

_Board:_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

_---------- - --_

(Glyde and Harpuia walk up to the podium.)

Omega - Name something that, if said by anyone who is not Ned Flanders, would caused them to get shot.

(A brief silence follows.)

Glyde - Crap-doodly-oodly! I can't think of anything!

(Everyone pulls out a gun and shots him simeltaneously.)

_Ding!_

_---------- - --_

_Crap-doodly-oodly - WTF?!_

_---------- - --_

Omega - Harpuia?

Harpuia - You'd think he'd get shot just by saying 'Hi'.

_Ding!_

_---------- - --_

_Crap-doodly-oodly - WTF?!_

_Hi. - ROFLMAO_

Omega - Sucks to be you. -walks over to Bass- Anything?

_Ding!_

_Anything that ends in -oodly, -dokely, or exists in the English language - OMG_

_Crap-doodly-oodly - WTF?!_

_Hi. - ROFLMAO_

Omega - Well, just 'cause I'm an ass, not to mention evil, Copy X's team wins. Megaman and Co., you can go screw yourselves.

(Fefnir and Leviathan walk up.)

Omega - Fefnir, you have no time to answer five questions. Leviathan, act like you're not listening. Here we go. Name a parody of a person that MSX will make next season.

Fefnir - What?

Omega - Name a parody of a movie that MSX will make next season.

Fefnir - Uh… The Last Crusade?

Omega - Name a parody of a TV Show that MSX will make next season.

Fefnir - Um… Family Feud? Can you go back to…

Omega - Name a parody of a video game that MSX will make next season

Fefnir - Grand Theft Auto 3. Now, go back to…

Omega - Say the first word that came to mind when you realized that there's going to be a third season.

Fefnir - -loudly- Fuck you!! -stomps off-

Omega - Okay… So, Fefnir said 'What?', 'The Last Crusade', 'Family Feud', 'Grand Theft Auto 3', and Fuck you. Exclamation point. Exclamation point. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_What? - 0_

_The Last Crusade - 23_

_Family Feud - 100_

_Grand Theft Auto 3 - 1_

_Fuck You!! - 1_

Omega - Wow. One hundred out of a hundred people said Family Feud. So, predictable. Well, Leviathan…

Leviathan - I heard the questions.

Omega - Ignorant bitch.

Leviathan - What?!

Omega - Your answers.

Leviathan - Bush. Rocky 3. The Addams Family. Megaman. And last, but not least… -heads spontaneously explodes-

Omega - Cool. You needed 75 points. Survey says…

_Ding!_

_Bush - 0_

_Rocky 3 - 15_

_Addams Family - 0_

_Megaman - 25_

_SHES - 99_

Omega - Wow. The Spontaneous Head Explosion Syndrome was abnormally popular. Oh well. I'm out. -walks off-

Copy X - Where's my money? I must fund my campaign against the humans. I'll be damned if I let that bitch Hilary into office! -melodramatic laughter- Vote Copy X '08! -innocent smile-

* * *

Next time: X and Zero return for some more random adventures in Liberty City. 


	17. Grand Theft Auto 3 Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #18

A Grand Theft Auto 3 Parody

By: The X series

* * *

(Zero is driving down a golf course path in a golf cart. He stops by X, who is sticking his thumb out.)

Zero - Sorry. No hitchhikers.

X - I'm not hitchhiking. I smashed by thumb of that tree.

(Zero turns to look for a tree. When he can't find one, he turns around.)

Zero - X? Hello? Wanker ran off.

(X grabs Zero, throws him to the ground, and takes off in the golf cart.)

X - Later, wanker!

Zero - -stands up- This means war.

(Zero begins turning and shooting randomly and a golf cart appears out of nowhere.)

X - Oh, yeah. Forgot about that… It's MOD-ing time!

(X begins swerving around randomly and the golf cart turns into the Batmobile.)

Zero - That wanker! -dials the police- Hello? Yes, I'd like to report a stolen vehicle. I'm chasing him in a golf cart right now. What? Screw you! That bastard stole my Batmobile! Ah, fuck it! -hangs up- It's MOD-ing time… again…

(Zero begins swerving around randomly, crashes into a tree, and his cart turns into the Weinermobile.)

Zero - Great…

(Meanwhile, Axl is having fun being a pimp when he turns the corner and sees the Batmobile being chased by the Weinermobile. He smacks his ho, steals her booze, and downs it in a second.)

Axl - Need more booze!

X - Axl's a pimp?

Zero - Axl's getting laid?! Wow, I guess Hell did freeze over.

(The scene changes to a frozen town of Hell, Michigan.)

MSX - -shivering- Yeah, so what?! It's overused. Big deal! You can suck my frozen metallic balls!

(The scene changes back as the Batmobile drives into a Pay-N-Spray. It emerges as a shopping cart with nos.)

Zero - Bastard! I wanted a shopping cart with nos!

(X gives him the finger and flies off in the cart. Zero goes into the Pay-N-Spray and emerges with a limo.)

Zero - A limo?!

(Donald Trump looks back at Zero from the driver's seat.)

Trump - -enunciates every syllable- Not just any limo. This is my personalized limo, the Trumpmobile. Activate nitros oxide.

(Trump pushes a button and they blast off, easily catching up with X.)

X - Damn!

(X pulls into a pit stop where a pit crew replaces his tires, give him an ounce of cocaine, a bong, and two tickets to Phantom of the Opera. As X pulls out, Zero pulls in. His tires are replaced, but a fat chick begins walking up.)

Fat Chick - Hey, big boy.

Trump - Oh my God. We're doomed.

Zero - Put the pedal to the medal!

(Trump takes off after X, who is swerving wildly after smoking a coke bong.)

X - -high as a kite- Whoa… So many colors. If I hit the purple, twenty points for me. Whee! That rhymed! Yay!

(Zero pulls into another Pay-N-Spray and comes out with the General Lee.)

Zero - No way.

Trump - -from backseat- Way.

Bill Gates - I'm so freaking rich, I walk through the homeless shelters just to see how much better I'm doing in life than everyone else.

Clyde - -from backseat- Where to?

(Zero boots Clyde out and takes off. Clyde gets angry and pushes a button on his drawn-on watch. A box with wheels appears and he gets in. He activates the nos and easily catches up with Zero.)

Clyde - Revenge! Oh, I mean… Spare some change?!

Bill Gates - Behold, my secret weapon.

(Bill Gates throws a sack of money out of the window and into Clyde's Box-Mobile. He stops, goes into a watch store, buys a very cheap, plastic watch, and tells the clerk to 'Keep the change'. He then resumes the chase.)

Clyde - More change!

Zero - Yeah… I just realized… This is all one pointless race through the city. Where are all the missions?

MSX - -from passenger side seat- Well, these are the annoying racing missions.

Zero - Holy shit!

(Zero hits a ramp and honks the horn while time briefly moves in slow motion.)

MSX - Hey, look! Crack!

(Zero swerves to the left, buys some crack, and takes off again. The police appear and attempt to pull him over as he snorts the drugs.)

Zero - high as a kite- You can't stop me! I'm…

(X flies through the sky in his shopping cart.)

Zero - -slightly high- …hallucinating…

MSX - You can say that again. Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Bush's exit strategy all don't exist.

Zero - -hungover- Great… Wait? What?

(Zero pulls over and is busted. A week later, he stands at the edge of the bridge.)

Zero - Well, my life has no meaning. I lost my Batmobile. I lost my hookers. I lost my car keys. I lost that game of checkers with a blind man. I've lost my dignity, my sense of humor, and even my two-for-one coupon for KFC chicken. Goodbye, cruel…

(X hits Zero and drives off of the bridge in the Batmobile.)

X - Just die!

(They both fall into the water and begin splashing around like retards. Seconds later, they drown.)

MSX - Well, at least you can swim in San Andreas.

* * *

Next time: My original parody was on an anime. I continue that tradition by parodying an anime based on the second-greatest video game franchise in the world. 


	18. Pokemon Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #19

A Parody of Pokémon

By: The Classic series

* * *

(Dr. Light sits up immediately.) 

Light - Oh joy. Today I begin my quest to become the greatest Pokemon master of all time!

Wily - Setting your sights a little high, aren't you?

Light - Gasp. It's my rival, Dr. Wily.

Wily - I'm gonna become the greatest Pokemon master! I've just created… Er… Gotten my first Pokemon! Go, Flirtle!

(Iceman appears in a flash.)

Iceman - -flirtatiously- Hey, big boy!

(Light quickly runs into Dr. Nutsa… I mean, Dr. Cossack's office.)

Cossack - Wow! You're late! Everyone just left. Your choices were a Flirtle…

Light - Gay.

Cossack - Bulbascore?

Light - Still gay.

Cossack - Harmander?

Light - Little better.

Coassck - But, now all I have left is this Dickachu.

(Elecman appears with some funky headgear.)

Elecman - You will get nowhere in life.

Light - I'll take it!

(Outside of Suckit Town, Light and Dickachu begin their adventure.)

Light - Oh, look! It's a Midgey.

(Light points the Pokesex at it.)

Pokesex - -in automated voice- Midgey, the midget bird Pokemon. This Pokemon will gang up on anyone it views to be a dickface.

(A flock of Midgeys begin to close in on Light.)

Light - Uh oh. Dickahu, Blundershock!

(Elecman shoots a small lightning bolt out of his butt, then the two run for it.)

Roll - Duh-duh-duh. Doing nothing but fishing.

(Light grabs the bike and rides off with it.)

Light - I'd say I'd bring, but I'd be lying!

Roll - Wanker!

Elecman - Why do I have to sit in the basket?

Light - 'Cause your a supporting character. Now sit down and shaddup!!

Pokesex -Marojuana, the drugs Pokemon. Much meaner than Midgeys, Marojuanas usually offer government-grown weed or hookers, but in return, they ask for some dough.

(Light turns around to see a bunch of drug dealers running alongside the Midgeys.)

Marojuana - Want some weed?! I got the best crack there is!

Light - Sounds tempting, but no. Oh, snap! Besides, you don't appear for several episodes! Blunder time!

(Elecman unleashes a Blunder attack and vaporizes the Midgeys and Marojuanas. Light throws himself on the ground, then they look up into the air.)

Light - It's a Ho-Ho!

Ho-Ho - -flying away- I'll suck your dick for a dollar. I'll suck your dick for a dollar.

(Light raises an eyebrow as Elecman looks at him.)

Elecman - Mating call.

(Light shrugs and picks Elecman up. He then runs into the Pokemon Center.)

Nurse Boy - -in a masculine tone- Hi, my name's Nurse Boy. Me and my family, which looks and sounds exactly like me, run every Pokemon Center in the world.

Elecman - -to Light- Don't make me go with him.

(The front door explodes and Megaman is wearing a white shirt with a red R on it.)

Nurse Boy - Team Rockman!

Megaman - I shall now repeat a chant that will be heard in every episode of every season from now to three hundred years from now! No matter what, Nintendo will always find a cheesier plot line for a season of this Godforsaken show!

Light - Quiet or MSX will hear you.

Megaman - So?

(Elecman uses Slap Cannon and knocks Megaman into the air.)

Megaman - Looks like Team Rockman making another sequel!! -vanishes-

Roll - Bastard! You burnt my bike! Now, buy me a new one!

Light - Okay, I will. That is, of course, a lie and I'll never replace your bike as long as I may live! -insert mad laughter- Now, then. Let's go!!

(A few days and they enter Spewter City.)

Bass - -has eyes closed- Ha! I never open my eyes, but I can see everything!

Light - I challenge you!

Bass - Ha! Fool! You will lose!

(After Light gets his ass kicked by Hooked-On-Phonix, he goes to mill, recharges Dickachu, then comes back.)

Bass - Ha! Fool! You will lose! Again!

(Light uses a squirt gun and kills Hooked-On-Phonix.)

Bass - Oh no! I'm now legally obligated to give you this dorky little 'badge' and send you off!

(Light does a Legend of Zelda pose, then leaves.)

Random Guy - Who's that Pokemon! -insert commerical break- It's… Ahnold!

Arnold - Ahnold! Ahnold! I'll be back! Ahnold!

(Light enters SheScrewedLeon City and goes into the gym.)

Elecman - This isn't a gym. There's no workout equipment.

Roll - You! I accept your challenge, but will lose horribly due to the huge advantage you have over me!

(Moments later, Light wins.)

Light - Yay!

Roll - Have this gay little badge.

Light - -does LoZ pose- I'm gone!

-One 'same old, same old' later…-

Light - After an ungodly amount of episodes, I've finally reached the Slightly-Blue-But-Not-Quite-Purple Plateau! Go, Charitard!

(Charitard appears and falls asleep.)

Light - Darn! Go, Exlax!

(A fat Pokemon appears and falls asleep.)

Light - My 'Darn' evolved into a 'Darn darn'! Go, Dickachu!

Elecman - I don't wanna.

Light - Damn!

Referee - You're a retard and are disqualified!

Light - My 'Damn' evolved into a 'Fuck'! This show blows chunks!

MSX - -walks in- Excuse me, but I happen to like the show. Missing-In-Action, I choose you!

(A glitch appears and glitches the parody. However, it starts the Pokecrap.)

Selectrode, Piglett, Speedoran, Spankey, Venuscore, Fattata, Zearow, Midgey, Dolteon, Dolemite, Glastly, Tonyjaa, Japoreon, Pollywollydoodle, Splattermee!!  
Menomoth, Poligrip, Oldfuck, Bulbascore, Oltimer, Fuckmewell, Poltres, Speedoking, Fart'stretch, Pigglypuff, Killer, Rhyporn, Cledable, Pigglytuff!

Spewbat, Buttrape, Woofen, Hooked-On-Phonix, Geonude, Crapidash, Fagneton, Exlax, Mengar, Strangela, GospleenStareo Sleezing, Shmeal, Gyarmorose, Slowfro!!  
Kabooto, Barkin, Scareus, Warsea, Faticate, Fagnemite, Kaflabra, Fuckinwell, Dildo, Moyster, Splaterpie, Sandscrew, Bulbascore, Harmander, Holem, Dickachu!

Hocuspocus, Pooduo, Menonat, Machoking-The-Chicken, Jakhychan, Schizo, Electascuzz, Scareon, Asstoise, Polyphonic, Yiddish, Rowdy, Diechu, Speedoqueen, Smellsprout, Starpee!  
Metagod, Marojuana, Kahuna, Cledairy, Pootrio, Weedra, Pile'o'doom, Stabby, Lickidung, Scoros, Greedle, Speedoran, Porkchop, Sellder, Pornogon, Pimpmonchan!

Farticuno, Junx, Speedorina, Weedrill, Haunturd, Flirtle, Cheney, Parasex, Sexeggcute, Fuk, Poodong, Midgeotto, Lapdance, Vuldix, Hardon!  
Charitard, Machump, Pisser, Jerkoffing, Mugtrio, Starpu, Tragikarp, Nineballs, Sinep, Homostar, Spyther, Tentacola, Debonair, Fagmar!

Sandstash, Pimpmonlee, Skyfuck, Barcanine, Heavee, Sexeggutor, Kabootops, Crapdos, Martini, Scowlithe, Mr. Mom, Cuboner, Groveler, Smoltorb, Glomp  
Harmelon, Fartortle, Screwyu, Tentagruel, Bearodacylt, Homonyte, Snowjoke, Midgeot, Sllab!

* * *

Next time: The Megaman crew learns the importance of 'Wax-On; Wax-Off'. 


	19. Karate Kid Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #20

A Karate Kid Parody

By: The Legends series

* * *

(As parody starts, the camera moves down a street.)

Random Person - Tony! Don't forget to tell Uncle Louie that I left the red wine and severed head in the refrigerator!

(Outside of the hotel, Tron urges on Trigger.)

Tron - Push, Trigger! Push!

(Trigger takes a shit, then sighs pleasantly. On the beach, Trigger walks up to the camera.)

Trigger - Insert cliché fight against future girlfriend's ex. I get my ass kicked.

(Trigger turns around, revealing an ass cast, then walks off. Then, at the school, Trigger walks up and the lunch lady takes a giant spoon. She scoops some stuff out of a cow's carcass and plops it onto his plate.)

Trigger - Must… resist… hurling internal organs…

(Later, he walks into a dojo.)

Dojo Instructor - What do we say when someone curses our mothers?!

Entire Class - You're gonna get fucked up, sir!!

(That night, Trigger is riding his bike down the street.)

Trigger - Dum-de-dum. I don't realize that I'm about to have my ass kicked!

(In Teasel's shack, Tron and Trigger find themselves inside with a bunch of trees.)

Trigger - What kind of tree is this?

Teasel - Bonsai.

Trigger - Bonzai?

Teasel - Bonsai.

Tron - Bonzsay?

Teasel - Bonsai!

(A short silence follows.)

Trigger - Bonsigh?

(The two return to their apartment.)

Tron - You've got a costume party tomorrow. I've got your Bugs Bunny outfit.

Trigger - No thanks. I'm going as… a shower!

Tron - Brilliant plan if you want your ass kicked.

(As Trigger is getting the shit beat out of him, Teasel jumps the fence and begins kicking ass.)

Teasel - Take that, border patrol!

(I meant the other fence.)

Teasel - Oh, right. Take this, teenage scum!

(Later, Trigger and Teasel enter the dojo.)

Dojo Man - You're in the tournament!

Teasel - Hokey-dokey! -turns to leave-

Trigger - Wait? What?!

(The two head to an enclosed area.)

Teasel - Wax on. Wax off. Then kick 'em a good 'ol kick in the crotch.

(Trigger gets kicked in the crotch.)

Trigger - My happy sack has been overcome with pain!

(MSX walks in.)

MSX - The next scene doesn't need to be parodied. It's funny as is.

(MSX walks off. Later, in the enclosed area, Trigger puts on some gloves.)

Trigger - Hey, Mr. Teasel. What are these for?

Teasel - Funny you should ask…

(As Teasel begins to pull down his pants, Trigger throws off the glove and thrusts his hand into holy water.)

Trigger - Taint, be gone!

(As Trigger and Teasel walk up to a fence, Trigger realizes that that isn't paint in the bucket and he runs off.)

Teasel - Come back, coward! Real man paint with own fecal matter!

(The next day, Trigger walks up to the door and sees a sign that reads 'Now, paint house. Then car. Then other car. Then town. Town must be painted red.')

Trigger - -rips up the sign- Dammit!

(After training with Teasel, they bow.)

Teasel - Now, show me special place.

Trigger - I'm going. -starts running away- I'm going! I'm gone!!

(At the beach, Teasel cries out and tries to chop a beer bottle in half, but instead, hacks the man in half.)

Trigger - Um… Flawless victory?

(The next night, Teasel offers Trigger some booze.)

Teasel - Bonzai!

Trigger - Bonsigh.

Teasel - Bonzai!

Trigger - Bonsay!

Teasel - Bonzai!

Trigger - Bonsai!

Teasel - Oh, now you get it!

Trigger - What are you celebrating?

Teasel - Anniversary.

Trigger - Oh? -grabs picture- Whoa! This is your wife.

Teasel - Isn't she beautiful?

Trigger - Yeah, she's pretty. Pretty ugly.

(Teasel punches Trigger out.)

Teasel - Bonzai! -downs another glass of booze-

(Trigger puts Teasel to bed, then reads the letter. It reads, 'You will die in seven days for reading this'.)

Trigger - Meh.

(A few days later, Trigger celebrates his birthday.)

Teasel - Now, make wish!

Trigger - I know what I'm wishing for… Forty-six clones of Roll, butt-ass naked! Oh yeah!

(Outside, Teasel lets Trigger pick a car.)

Trigger - Hmm… I just got a nifty new car. Betcha anything that it'll be wrecked by dawn.

(Later, at the night club, Trigger and Roll make up.)

Trigger - I'll probably get killed in the first round.

Roll - We'll leave early.

Trigger - Oh yeah! I like where this is going!

(The next day, as the tournament starts, Trigger yawns.)

Trigger - They might as well put me in the finals right now. It's the classic movie cliché. The main character faces off against the antagonist in an epic fight that I almost lose. Betcha anything!

(A few minutes pass.)

Trigger - Figures. I am hurt badly, convince sensei that I have a justifiable reason for fighting, and come back to barely take the trophy away.

Glyde - You haven't taken it yet!

Trigger - Oh really? Crane kick to the face! -kicks Glyde- My foot! In yo face! Take that, bitch!

Glyde - Ow! My face! -melodramatically flies backwards and is impaled on a kabob-

Snake Man - Am I up again?

Next time: The Legends series continues its' ties with the Mafia.


	20. Godfather Part II Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #21

A Parody of The Godfather: Part 2

By: The Legends series

* * *

(Prior to the funeral, Trigger converses with Roll.)

Trigger - I don't see what your problem with a marching band is, Roll?

Roll - It's a funeral.

Trigger - So?

(At a mansion, Data talks with Tron.)

Data - I feel like being a dick. So, I'll shoot you at point-blank with a shotgun…

(Data does so.)

Data - Then, I'll kill a nine-year old!

(Data sends his minions to do his bidding. After going through the immigration procedure, Trigger stares out of the window at the Statue of Liberty. Instead of a torch, its' holding up a sign. It reads 'Welcome to America. Land of the free and home of the unstoppable. All shall cower before us.')

Mario - You're an immigrant-a, too?

(Trigger turns around to Mario who smiles.)

Trigger - Blasphemy!

(Mario is kicked into the stratosphere. At the party, the choir begins to sing a song 'to honor' Data. One kid walks up to the microphone dressed as Eminem and begins rapping as the others beatbox.)

Data - Amusing, but pointless. Take a note. I want this choir dead.

(Later, in the office, Data talks with the senator.)

Data - Mr. Senator. My offer to you is this: three cows, three sheep, and three retarded weasels.

(At the second party, Barrell walks up to Von Bleucher.)

Barrell - Do you want me to take care of this?

Von Bleucher - Please.

(Barrell walks over and pimp-slaps Shu, then walks back.)

Barrell - Mission complete. -dunks hand-

(In the apartment, Roll asks about the drapes.)

Data - Oh…

Osama - Gah-lah-lah!!

(Roll and Data fall to the ground as gunfire tears through the apart.)

George Bush - Excellent shooting, Cheney.

Cheney - Rha!

(A little while later, Data puts a Servbot to bed while cheesy Italian music is playing.)

Data - Note to self: Find the source of that music and eradicate it.

(In the theatre, someone stands up, blocking the stage.)

Random Guy - Down in front!

(Mr. T turns around and begins hopping over the chairs to him.)

Mr. T - I pity da foo who disrespects the Don! Backhand yo ass! -pimp-slaps the man-

(One man throws a bag to the other and tells him to hide it. The man opens it up and gags as he sees pickled testicles.)

Some Guy - Not right, dude!!

(Sera walks up to MSX, who's sitting in the director's chair.)

Sera - You _do_ realize that we're still doing a parody, right?

MSX - -snaps out of daze- Sorry, I'm just astounded by how horrible this movie is compared to the first one. Oh well… On with the parody!

Sera - Finally…

(As Teasel is killed, Juno looks around and sniffs the air.)

Juno - I smell bacon…

(Right after Data drives by the poor children, they pass by Clyde who's holding a sign that says 'Unemployment or bust'. Later, they stop at the scene of an arrest.)

Servbot - Gah-lah-lah!!

(The Servbot tackles Denise and explodes.)

Data - Damn Taliban…

(In the apartment after the party, Glyde puts a hand on Data's shoulder.)

Glyde - Data, we're bigger than big itself.

Data - If you say so…

(In the hotel lobby, the man opens the suitcase. Then, Data smacks him.)

Data - I said the suitcase with the money, not the suitcase with the bunnies, you fucktard! They multiply like no-one's business!

(In the room, a doctor stands by Wily, the boat guy.)

Doctor - Take this pill twice a day and I'll be back tomorrow, eh?

Wily - Tell him to fuck off! I don't trust a doctor that speaks Canadian!

Doctor - What's that all aboot?

(In the hospital, the nurse opens the door and the Birdbots begin shooting the Servbot. They stop and realize that instead of a pillow, he's been holding a bulletproof vest.)

Servbot - Gotcha, bitch!

(A Birdbot shoots him in the head. Later, in the hallway, a Servbot turns around to Data, who's holding some cloth.)

Servbot - What have you got there?

Data - Bitch, this is the Godfather. What do you think I have?

(Data shoots him and the cloth spontaneously combusts.)

Data - Whoa! Holy shit!

(The movie ends and the words 'put in second disc' appear on the screen.)

MSX - Say what now? Oh, fuck no! I see where this is going.

* * *

Next time: Some miraculous happens on the corner of Fifth and 34th Street. 


	21. A Miracle On 34th Street Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #22

A Parody of A Miracle On 34th Street

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

(In opening scene, the clerk in the window looks up to face the Burger King king.)

Topman - You there! You're in my spot!

(Topman walks up and is punched by the king.)

Topman - Oh! Now you've done it!

(They fight in a Mortal Kombat-style battle and Topman wins.)

Topman - Honestly. Now, where was I? Ah, yes! You're making a mistake!

(At the parade, Topman walks up to one of the floats.)

Topman - You're a disgrace and I won't allow myself to be impersonated in this fashion. Eh… Clyde?

(MSX throws his megaphone behind him.)

MSX - Dammit! Someone get my agent off the set!

(A few minutes later, Roll is talking to Megaman.)

Roll - My mother and father were divorced when they had me.

(Megaman stares at Roll before Clyde appears.)

Clyde - Awkward…

(MSX throws the megaphone down again.)

Clyde - God dammit, Clyde!

(Later, in the locker room.)

Topman - I guess that I like watching kids' faces light up when I give them presents. Especially if its' my two-timing wife's head in a box. Then the face will really light up.

(In the mall, Topman sits on a chair.)

Topman - What do you want for Christmas?

(Trill begins talking illegibly and Topman smacks him.)

Topman - Now, when I ask you 'What do you want for Christmas?' again, you'd better speak English or I'll punch you next time.

(As Topman and Medi begin singing in Dutch, Roll looks on in confusion.)

Roll - -thinking- What the fuck are they saying?

(Later, in the apartment.)

Maylu - I speak French, but that doesn't make me Joan of Arc.

(Medieval people break down the door.)

Random Guy - There she is!

(Maylu grabs a bow and arrow and shoots all three people with one arrow.)

Maylu - Like I was saying…

(On Topman's employment card, the next of kin is written as follows: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Driedel (My Jewish cousin) Later still, back in the apartment, as Topman and Roll are being monkeys, Clyde appears.)

Clyde - Ah! Aliens!

(MSX's eye begins twitching.)

MSX - One more time Clyde and I'll nuke your box!

(A little while later, in the bedroom.)

Topman - There must be something you want for Christmas. Something you haven't even told your mother about.

Roll - Well…

(Roll pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to Topman.)

Topman - Is this Tom Cruise's nutsa…

(Roll snatches it back and hands him another piece of paper.)

Topman - Ah! A house.

(That night, Topman pulls gum out of his beard, then he shaves. The next morning, he goes up to the mirror and sees that its' already grown back.)

Topman - Damn this curse…

(In the office, Topman takes a sledgehammer and smashes Gutsman on the head with it.)

Topman - Tell me that won't leave a bump the size of Kansas. Come on! I dare ya.

(A few days later, in the courthouse.)

Bass - The state rests, your honor.

(Glyde stands up.)

Glyde - That's it? That's brilliant! Three questions. You must be the world's greatest lawyer! Sit your fat ass down, faggot!

(During the trial, O. J. Simpson runs in.)

O. J. Simpson - I did it! I killed her! I killed my wife! But guess what? You can't do shit about it!

(He strips off his clothes and begins dancing about be being tackled to the ground. Time passes and the scene changes back into the apartment.)

Maylu - You mean for murder?

Glyde - Oh, no! It's not that kind of a trail.

(Topman walks by the door dragging a body with several knives sticking out of it.)

Glyde - Well, maybe it should be…

(In the empty house, Maylu and Topman stare at a cane.)

Glyde - It must've been left here by the people who lived here before.

(Suddenly, Topman walks in.)

Topman - Sorry, forgot my cane.

(He grabs it and walks out while muttering, 'I'm not wearing underwear today… No, I'm not wearing underwear today…')

* * *

Next time: I skewer America's most cherished holiday movie. 


	22. It's A Wonderful Life Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #23

A Parody of It's A Wonderful Life

By: The X series

* * *

(MSX walks in.) 

MSX - And now, I shall take America's most cherished holiday story and I'll wipe my ass with it! Hahahahaha!!

(MSX calmly walks off and the scene fades out. The scene fades into outer space as everyone begins talking about Zero.)

Person #1 - Please, God. Please help Zero tonight.

Person #2 - He never thinks of himself. That's why he's in trouble.

Person #3 - I hope Geo… I mean, Zero gets (and dies of) testicular cancer. That is all.

(The scene changes to an icy lake as Axl falls in.)

X - That day, he saved his brother, but drowned in the lake.

Zero - Really?

X - Of course not! He's needed for a plot twist later on! He just lost his left nut.

Zero - That must've hurt.

X - It did.

(Later, Zero talks with Iris in the store.)

Zero - Don't like coconuts? Do you know where coconuts come from?!

(Zero begins to unzip his pants, but is called into the back.)

Zero - Be right back, babe. -winks-

(Colonel gives Zero capsules to deliver. However, Zero finds out that they're marijuana pills. Later, he gets slapped around for smoking them all. Times moves ahead and Zero is now a young adult.)

Vile - And, for a stylish customer… I put on my pants!

Zero - That's… okay… I'll just catch the next one…

(At the graduation party, Flame Hyenard, in a very complicated disguise, pops up.)

Hyenard - Heehaw!

(Zero turns around, punches him out, then turns back to the pies without another word. Later, as Axl opens the floor up, Zero and Iris fall into a pool of lava and keep dancing.)

Axl - Well, that's… unique…

(Afterwards, the walk down the street.)

Zero - What? You want the moon? Then I'll just throw a lasso around it and pull it in.

Iris - I'm sorry, I don't date freaks.

Zero - How 'bout perverts? -rips off Iris' robe-

(Four more years pass and Zero is now running the Bank & Loan building.)

Signas - -drunk- Which one's my hat?

Zero - -holding one hat- Look down.

(Signas does so and Zero smacks him upside the head.)

Zero - The one I'm holding!

(A few months later, Zero gets married to Iris.)

Iris - I still don't like the fact that we're being married in your house.

Zero - Ah, shaddup!

(When everyone panics in the bank, Iris holds up some money.)

Iris - How much do you need?

Zero - Now wait just a minute! -hops behind counter- That's my money. Not their money. Mine! To hell with this building!

(Zero grabs the money, then runs. He returns ten minutes later.)

Zero - Now, _this_… -holds up sacks of cash- …is Sigma's money. Who wants some of this?

(Still a few more years later, Zero and Iris pass out bread, salt, and wine to people who now own their own house.)

Zero - Oh! One more thing! -pulls out a Playboy- A porno mag. So your nights alone will be all the more bearable.

(Iris stands there speechless.)

Zero - What? I'm helping out.

(After meeting with Sigma, he enters his house at night and Sigma begins talking. Zero starts, then picks him up and throws him out the window. Then, around the time of World War II, Signas misplaces the money, Zero throws a fit, and Signas begins crying. Then, a squirrel walks onto his shoulder and Signas looks up.)

Signas - What the fuck?

(Signas looks at the open window, shrugs, grabs the squirrel, bites a chunk out of it, then begins crying again. Later, as Zero is about to commit suicide, Dynamo jumps into the water.)

Dynamo - Help! Help!

(Zero sees that its' Dynamo and shrugs.)

Zero - I can wait.

Dynamo - -appears next to Zero- Wanker.

(After seeing life without him, Zero begins running down the street yelling 'Merry Christmas'.)

Random Person - There goes that Bailey kid. I always knew he'd snap one day.

(As everyone sings inside the house, Zero hurls into the pile of money.)

Zero - This ending makes me sick.

* * *

Next time: After being postponed due to computer issues, the Classic series will finally return with their possibly-forgotten parody. 


	23. Sparticus Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #23

A Parody of Sparticus

By: The Classic series

**

* * *

**

(As parody begins, the word 'overture' appears at the bottom of the screen. Instead of some guy who's been beaten up, Jaws, Chucky, and Billy Crystal are playing poker at a table. Dramatic music begins playing for a very long time.)

Some Guy - That's long enough, damn it! Kill the conductor!

(The scene changes to an orchestra pit where Bubble Man is conducting.)

Some Guy - You have wasted my precious time! You must die!

Bubbleman - Wait! Wait! Don't kill me! Uh... kill the tuba player!

(The angry mob of people look down at the very fat tuba player.)

Some Guy - He looks slow. Let's get him first!

(As the tuba player gets maimed, Bubble Man sneaks away and the movie begins. As the credits appear on screen, artifacts are shown. Suddenly, something happens and Cloud Man's vacation to Jamaica clips are shown. (i.e. Cloud Man playing volleyball with muscular dudes, him swimming in shark-infested water, him wearing a thong, etc. Further into the credits, roman writing comes up. That is suddenly replaced with a wall that has 'I will not throw Billy into the lion pit' etched into it about fifty times. When the movie actually begins, David Hasslehoff stands dressed as a lifeguard on a watchtower. As the shot pans to the side, two guards are carrying another guard away. The other guard has no pants and a spear in his right buttock.)

Guard - -In a thick New York accent- ...so then I sez to Jerry, 'I bet you can't hit me from 50 feet.' So then he sez, 'Hey, let's make this interesting.' So I pulls down my pants, and... well, the rest is history.

(As the narrator rambles on about nothing, a group of people are seen carrying a large amount of butter. They stop and dump it into a pit that leads to a fat man's mouth. As a narrator continues to ramble on about nothing, a man is seen using an ax on the rocks. Suddenly, while the narrator is speaking, the man brings the ax down and 'My happy sack!!' is heard.)

Slave - Why are we mining for rocks?!? There are rocks all over the place! We don't need any rocks!

(A whip sound is heard followed by 'Ouch kabibbles!' After Sparktacus bites the guard's ankle, the guard screams.)

Guard - Ouch! Code 212! Code 212! We've got a Mike Tyson in progress! Ow!

(Guts Man, after dismounting Centaur Man, walks with a guard to select some slaves. He points to Wily, who comes down off the rocks.)

Gutsman - May I see his testicles, please?

(The guard nods, and Guts Man reaches down and grabs Wily forcibly by the nuts.)

Gutsman - Hmm... no. Too soft. Too wrinkly. This one won't do.

(As the boat full of slaves drifts across the sea, the slaves begin to sing.

Slaves - Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, drop your pants and start to dance and hope it's just a dream! -whipping sounds-

(The slaves are brought in and Guts Man begins a speech.)

Gutsman - Welcome to the Footlong Weinerus School of Gladiatorial Sciences and TV/VCR Repair. Here you will learn to kill, maim, and set the timers on even the toughest of video recorders. You will learn that gladiators are like stallions. They run around a lot and crap on the floor.

(After some more, speechification, he continues.)

Gutsman - For a certain few of you, if you please me, you will be given the companionship of a young lady.

(Guts Man points to Tengu Man, who is wearing a wig and laughing creepily. During the scene where Spark Man is given a sword.)

Enker - Kill me.

(Spark Man shrugs and swings the sword, cutting off Enker's shoulder. Enker smacks Spark Man with his good hand.)

Enker - I said 'Kill me'. Not 'wound me'.

(While Spark Man washing himself in a trough, Shade Man speaks.)

Shademan - Enker occasionally booty-rapes a person as an example. I think he's picked you. Better watch your back.

(When Roll enters Spark Man's cell, he jumps to his feet.)

Sparkman - Hot diggity! Spark Man's a virgin no more!! Show me dem titties!

(As Roll is about to pull her shirt off, Guts Man and Enker begin laughing. Spark Man glares up and Guts Man shrugs.)

Gutsman - What? Can't we watch?

(Enker puts his face further toward the grate they're looking through.)

Enker - Show me dem titties!

Sparkman - Hey, that's my line!

(When Enker and Guts Man leave, Spark Man screams 'I'm not an animal!' before taking a dump in his hand and throwing it through the grate. The turd then lands on his head.)

Sparkman - Well, this is crap.

(Spark Man looks slowly towards the camera.)

Sparkman - Damn audience.

(The shot goes to slaves training with a rotating training dummy. Other slaves are then seen training with rotating sticks that they must jump over and duck under. The shot then goes to several slaves on a merry-go-round.)

Slaves - Wheeeee!!!

(The shot changes to the slaves swinging their swords in unison. Suddenly, they grab a partner and begin dancing as someone pulls out a banjo and begins playing square-dancing music. Then, Spark Man and Enker are sparring and Enker knocks Spark Man down. Enker picks up Spark Man's sword and throws it accidentally into his hand. Spark Man then begins to hold back a loud scream. Enker, after painting Spark Man red, blue, and yellow, picks up a green paint brush.)

Enker - And this is where you hit your opponent to really piss them off. Here...

(Enker paints on Spark Man's face.)

Enker - ...and here.

(He then paints on Spark Man's groin. A voice then comes from the back of the crowd of slaves.)

Slave - So, what does the brown paint signify?

Enker - Brown paint? I don't have any... oh. Note: triple-bean burritos are not recommended before the day of battle. Any questions?

(When back in his cell, Spark Man is looking up and, for some reason, crap falls onto his face.)

Sparkman - I repeat...

(The door to Spark Man's cell opens and Roll is standing there. Enker then stops her from entering.)

Enker - Not today. This one goes to Crazy Ted's room. Have a good night's masturbation, Sparky.

(Spark Man's door shuts and he begins walking around. Suddenly, he hears something coming from the room next to him.)

Crazy Ted - Oh yeah! Come to Crazy Ted! Yeehaw! Ride'em cowboy!

(Spark Man shudders and lies down on the floor in a fetal position. The slaves sit down in a line for mealtime. Roll then passes out bags of McDonalds to each of the slaves.)

Slave - Oh, man! McNuggets again? Can't we get some BK up in this bitch?

(Guts Man is getting shaved as Ice Man tells him that Biggus Lippus Negrus is coming.)

Gutsman - What? Negrus? Here? Quickly! Fetch my pink dress! The one with the chiffon! And the plastic tiara! With the glitter! Oh, and fetch the best wine we have! Actually, fetch the second best! Oh, screw it. Just give them some Budwieser and tell them it's a '96.

(Guts Man then begins kissing and dry-humping a statue of some random fat person. Then, Guts Man speaks to Napalm Man.)

Gutsman - We can't have the fighters kill each other. It would lower morale and be... _very_ expensive.

Napalmman - Well, name your price.

(Guts Man looks around then leans in.)

Gutsman - Um... 13 donkeys and a copy of Richard Simmons Sweatin' To The Oldies. And... um... does your wife like to...

Napalmman - Going too far there.

Gutsman - Okey-dokey.

(Later, in the gladiators' quarters, Enker yells down to them.)

Enker - All gladiators report to the training area. Some visitors want to admire your peckers!

(Spark Man takes his pants off.)

Sparkman - Not again...

(Plant Man looks through the slaves.)

Plantman - What's wrong with that one? He's got three legs!

Gutsman - Um... that's not a leg.

Plantman - Ooh! I'll take him!

(While making their selection, Star Man goes up and points to a man.)

Starman - I want the nigger.

(A.N. The preceeding word and any offensive words that are upcoming are still purely for comedic purposes.)

(Plant Man talks to Guts Man.)

Plantman - Does our selection-making bore you?

Gutsman - Why no. In fact, I've got a huge boner as we speak.

(After serving some wine, Roll 'accidentally' breaks the jug over Elecman's head.)

Roll - Oh, I'm so sorry. It was an accident. Here, let me clean it up.

(Roll then picks up a large stick and begins beating Elecman over the head several times.)

Roll - You know what gets out wine stains? Fire.

(Roll picks up a torch and lights Elecman on fire.)

Roll - I really should be more careful.

(Plant Man hands Elecman a medallion. Elecman cracks a very creepy smile and speaks in a bizarre and creepy voice)

Elecman - I don't know how I shall ever repay you. Well, I could repay you in feet. I collect feet.

(Spark Man and three others are in a box in preparation for battle. After several minutes of silence, Spark Man opens his mouth.)

Sparkman - So, how about them Yankees?

(More silence. After the dead gladiator is dragged away, cheerleaders run into the arena and began dancing for a halftime show. As Bass climbs the wall, the guard jumps down and notices a transparent dartboard on Bass' back before throwing the spear. As Spark Man lays in his cell, he hears footsteps overhead. Suddenly, music begins playing and Spark Man begins singing 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow'.)

Sparkman - Somewhere over the rain-

Tenguman - Shut up!

(Tengu Man throws a rock at Spark Man, nailing him in the forehead. During the slaves/ guards fight, Spark Man shoves Enker's head into a pot of stew.)

Enker - No! So much flavor! -drowning noises-

(As Spark Man climbs the fence to escape, the guards begin throwning random items at him. (i.e., a spear, a rock, a stick, a cat, a TV, a watermelon, Michael Jackson, etc.)

Michael Jackson - Eeee-hee!

(During the big fight scene, Spark Man holds a newspaper up to his face. On the newspaper, it reads 'Do Criminals Read Newspaper? Our Experts Say No.' A guard runs up.)

Sparkman - -lifts up newspaper and points- They went that way.

(After some boring crap, Napalm Man is walking down a hallway lined with columns. In the background, people are jumping off of a diving board and into the water. After Elecman tells Napalm Man that he's leaving, Napalm Man speaks.)

Napalmman - Goodness gracious gee willikers great shizel gizem gar Batman!

(During Spark Man's speech, Spark Man yells.)

Sparkman - What are we gonna be? A group of drunken idiots?

Clyde - Hey, it worked for the democratic party!

(The crowd roars in agreement. After a long speech from Spark Man, a Clyde yells.)

Clyde - Sparktacus is right! Elton John really is gay!

(Everyone then begins to hurry for their horses to move on. After riding for a while, Spark Man and his group come across a group of hippies.)

Sparkman - You lot! Come with us! We're off to fight the Romans!

(One hippie stands up.)

Hippie - Whoa! Whoa! Fight? Major uncool man! Can't we just have a big sit-in and smoke some pot?

Sparkman - On second thought, don't call us, we'll call you.

(The group of slaves rides away as the hippie sits down and takes a large puff of his joint.)

Hippie - Duuuuuuude... people on horses... I'm trippin' here, man.

(After declining the hippies, Roll appears out of a huge cloud of smoke. Spark Man rides closer to her. Roll looks very high.)

Roll - Howdy, Mr. Alien Dude. Could you give me a ride on your magical horse-ship?

(While talking with Roll, Spark Man begins laughing.)

Roll - I jumped out of the cart...

(Spark Man roars with laughter.)

Roll - ...and Guts Man was so fat...

(Spark Man nearly dies of laughter.)

Roll - ..that he couldn't catch me... What's so funny?

(Spark Man stops briefly.)

Sparkman - The French! They smell funny!

(Elsewhere, Guts Man and Auto are talking.)

Auto - Don't just stare at those birds. Eat them. There's no need to be on your best behavior here.

(Guts Man then picks up the table and slides the food into his mouth.)

Gutsman - -muffled- Thank you.

(He then belches loudly, farts, and throws a chicken drumstick at a random servant.)

Gutsman - -muffled- MORE BOOZE!!

(Guts Man and Auto talk about Roll.)

Gutsman - But, Tobaccus, she is not your type. She is very thin, and she...

Auto - Look around you. You will see women of all sizes...

(Suddenly, a 300-pound women walks by, causing earthquakes with each footstep.)

Auto - ...and shapes.

(The shot then goes back to Tengu Man, who is still wearing the creepy wig.)

Gutsman - Ew... why do you keep _that_ one around?

Auto - He makes me laugh.

(Napalm Man is taking a bath and Ice Man is scrubbing his back.)

Napalmman - Tell me, Hepatitus, do you steal?

Iceman - No, Master.

Napalmman - Do you lie?

Iceman - Uh, no, Master.

Napalmman - Do you ever dishonor the Gods?

Iceman - No, Master.

Napalmman - Have you ever seen a grown man take a dump on a woman's chest?

Iceman - Uh... no, Master.

Napalmman - Are you suuuure?

Iceman - Um... yes, I'm sure.

Napalmman - Well, there's a first time for everything.

Iceman - Mas...ter?

(Napalm Man stands up.)

Napalmman - Fetch my robe. You're about to get a lesson in poontang.

(Iceman looks disturbed.)

Iceman - Uh... okay, Master. -shudder-

(Napalm Man puts on his robe and walks to a window.)

Napalmman - Look, Hepatitus. Out that window across the river. That is Los Angeles. The power, the beauty, and the terror of L.A. Never go there, Hepatitus. Never. Now, to the right, is Rome. Much better place. Gaze at it. Pretend it is a beautiful woman. I want you to want to give Rome a good old-fashioned humping.

(On Vesuvius, Spark Man rides a horse to check on Roll. She is washing two kids, but when one starts screaming, she grabs it and holds its' head underwater. Spark Man asks Ice Man what he did as a servant.)

Iceman - I was a singer of songs. I can also juggle and perform feats of magic.

Sparkman - Magic, eh? Well, maybe when we're in battle you can pull a rabbit out of your ass and throw it at the Romans.

Iceman - Sounds like a plan.

Sparkman - What?

(During training, three people slash a watermelon in half with a sword. Bass suddenly sneaks up, grabs the melon, and runs off before the fourth person can slice it in half. Ice Man stands in front of a large fire.)

Iceman - I need one volunteer, man or woman.

Random Guy - Can it be both?

(Ice Man hands Roll an egg.)

Iceman - Hit it against the rock, gently.

(Roll takes the egg and smashes it against the rock, sending bird guts flying everywhere.)

Random Guy - Sing us a song, Hepatitus!

Iceman - Alright. Here's a little number from my childhood.

(Ice Man clears his throat.)

Iceman - Shake that ass! Watch yourself! Shake that ass! Show me what you're coming from! Shake that ass!

(After Ice Man is finished, Spark Man raises an eyebrow.)

Sparkman - Where'd you learn that song, Hepatitus?

Iceman - My father taught it to me. Right before the crips put a cap in his ass.

(In a field, Spark Man and Roll converse.)

Sparkman - I want to know.

Roll - Know what?

Sparkman - Know why the goddamn chicken crossed the road.

(After making a deal, Pirate Man tells Spark Man of enemies heading towards them.)

Pirateman - So, you will continue to fight? Even knowing that you will lose?

Sparkman - Hey, it worked for the democratic party!

Pirateman - I suppose so...

(After the big battle, Spark Man break's Elec Man's baton and rip his shirt.)

Sparkman - Take that back to your Senate! Tell them that that's all that is left! We will fight our way south! We will destroy an army you send against us! We will use this detailed tactical plan which you may have a copy of! We will take this route, down the I-94 and heading southeast until we reached the ocean! A more detailed version of our plan can be found on Mapquest! Search for 'Sparky'! Also, here is some McDonalds for your trip back to Rome! Call us if you get hungry! Also, here is a copy of The Waterboy on DVD to keep you occupied and entertained! Now get on your horse and get the hell out of here! Send us a postcard!

(The word intermission pops up and Spark Man smacks himself.)

Sparkman - There best not be anymore...

(Bubble Man walks up in an indestructable suit, smiles, and begins playing music again. Eventually, Spark Man gets into a tank and chases Bubble Man away. After some crap happens, two random people take to each other.)

Random Person - How can this Sparktacus train an army in seven months? We should throw an investigation!

(Snake Man, dressed like Sherlock Holmes, walks in.)

Snakeman - Did someone say the 'i' word?"

(After some more crap, Sparktacus' army rides down a sand dune. People sunbathing on the beach see this and run away.)

Random Guy - This was not on the brochure!

(As the army celebrates reaching the sea, Spark Man converses with his commanders.)

Sparkman - Sword Man, keep an eye on Pompeii.

Swordman - Oh, don't worry. There won't be any surprises.

(Everyone slowly looks at the camera.After Napalm Man gets elected, the crowd yells, 'Hiel, Hitler!' Then, Napalm Man makes his big speech.)

Napalmman - I promise to bring about a new Rome, and a new Italy. And I shall create a new kind of coffee shop called... Starbuckus. And I shall place one on every corner of every street of every town and every city in Italy! Coffee for everyone!!!

(The crowd goes bananas. After Spark man's speech, the army begins marching. In the background, you hear an old Jewish guy yelling.)

Jewish Guy - We're going in soy-kulls!

(As Spark Man stands on mountain, the Ice Climbers are seen behind him. Spark Man looks over, sees them, and looks at the screen.)

Sparkman - Nintendo's gonna have our ass.

(As Spark Man walks through camp, he sees a woman and a child.)

Child - Mommy, when do we go home?

Woman - Well, when a man and a girl have hot sex together, a sperm fertilizes an egg. And that's where babies come from. Now go to sleep, sweetie.

(The two armies line up on the battlefield. The Romans begins moving first, singing as they march.)

Romans - We are tough and we are mean, we're a big fat killing machine. We're gonna win, I've got a hunch, now shut up bitch and make me lunch.

(During the big battle scene, Spark Man cuts a man's arm off.)

Random Guy - Oh, come on! Was that really necessary? That's so unfair.

(As the armies of Porkchop and Lactose run up, a tank suddenly appears and begins driving towards them, causing them to run away. Duing the famous scene, everyone stands up and says that their Sparktacus. However, Bubble Man stands.)

Bubbleman - I am Sparktacus!

Napalmman - No, you're not.

(Bubble Man looks around nervously before making a run for it. Napalm Man takes out a shotgun and shoots him.)

Napalmman - It's about damn time.

Clyde - I'm Jimmy 'Two-shoes' McKraken!

(Everyone looks at him.)

Clyde - Sorry, wrong name.

(After some crap, Napalm Man meets Auto.)

Auto - Where does my name appear on the list of enemies of the state.

Napalmman - Second.

Auto - Second?

Napalmman - The first slot is occupied by Jared from Subway. I did not eat fresh.

(Napalm Man is getting some food for Roll.)

Napalmman - Here, eat. Try the alligator nipple chips, they're lovely.

Roll - No thanks.

Napalmman - -in a singsong-y voice- I've got Pringles!

Roll - Well, I suppose so. Heh... 'Once you pop...

Napalmman - You've got to kill everybody!

Roll - Um... no...

Napalmman - Tell me. Why did you love Sparktacus so much?

Roll - Well, he sucks on my toes and calls me Papa Lumpkins.

Napalmman - I see...

(Outside, Spark Man and Ice Man are chained up outside.)

Random Guy - Guards! Fall in!

(Suddenly, dozens of guards start falling off of random rooftops.)

Last Guard - -falls down- This is so cliché!

(After Spark Man stabs Ice Man, Ice Man speaks.)

Iceman - I love you like the father I never had.

Sparkman - I love you like I love saltwater taffy. And I'm a man who loves saltwater taffy. Mmm... taffy...

(After telling Roll and Guts Man to go to Las Vegas, Roll kisses Auto.)

Auto - Mmm... do that again. Only a little longer and a lot lower.

(Roll walks up to Spark Man, who's tied to a post.)

Roll - Why are we standing?

(Spark Man holds up his hands.)

Roll - Oh.

(Roll hugs Spark Man, then begins punching him.)

Roll - Just die! Die! Die, you asshole! Die! Take that, Jennifer Love Hewitt! Take that, Martha Stewart! Take that, Richard Nixon! Die! Die! Die! Die!

(As Roll and Guts Man ride off, Spark Man looks around.)

Sparkman - I'm... so... ronery... So ronery... So...

(MSX walks up and punches him out.)

MSX - Wrong movie, asshole!

Next time: The Legends series parodies a classic.


	24. Forrest Gump Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #24

A Parody of Forrest Gump

By: The Legend series

* * *

(Instead of a feather, a dead bird glides through the air as peaceful music is playing. Trigger picks up the bird when lands by his foot and puts it in his suitcase. When Sera walks up, Trigger turns to her.)

Trigger - Hello. My name's Florist. Florist Hump. Er.

(Trigger motions to the box of chocolate.)

Trigger - You want a chocolate? You sure look like one.

(Sera slaps Trigger. As Trigger eats a chocolate, he turns to Sera.)

Trigger - Mamma always said sex was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

(As the flashback's begin, the scene changes to when he was a kid.)

Present Trigger - Mamma said they were my magic shoes.

Servbot - Alright, Florist. Open your eyes.

(A young Trigger does so.)

Servbot - They're you're magic shoes. Watch!

(A cry is heard, but not seen.)

Servbot - And just like magic, they're up the doc's ass! Hahaha!

Present Trigger - Mamma named me after the guy who started the KKK. Partly cause I'm related to him. Imagine that.

(Sera slaps Trigger again. In the school, Tron talks with Glyde.)

Glyde - Is there a Mr. Hump, Mrs. Hump?

(At night, the principal exits the house.)

Glyde - There is now.

(Later, Trigger is dancing to Elvis playing the guitar. After he stops, Trigger goes 'Thank you. Thank you very much!')

Elvis - I like that, kid. I like that a lot.

(Later, Trigger sees Elvis on the TV.)

Past Trigger - That son of a bitch!

(Later, the bullies begin chasing him on their bikes.)

Roll - Run, Florist! Run!

(As Trigger does so, the leg braces begin to break off. Suddenly, one of his legs breaks off too and he begins hopping away at an abnormal speed. Much later, as a teenager, Trigger runs across a football field.

Present Trigger - Can you believe it? I got to go to college too. All because I could run fast. I wonder if I could go somewhere if I jerked-off fast enough…

(Some stuff happens.)

Present Trigger - …but someone thought different.

(A bus pulls up.)

Sera - Well, I'm blowing this joint.

Present Trigger - Mamma always said…

Sera - Fuck, your mamma!

(Sera walks off as Shu, Appo, and Dah scoot closer. During the flashback, Trigger and Roll are in the room together. Roll takes off her bra and puts Trigger's hand on her breasts.)

Past Trigger - -perverted laugh- I like this.

(The next day, Trigger is playing football and he stops when he gets a touchdown due to the Stop sign in front of him. He looks both ways before he keeps running. Then, after drinking fifteen Dr. Peppers, he goes up to a Servbot.)

Servbot - How does it feel to be an All-American?

Past Trigger - It makes me want to pee.

(In the army, Trigger is talking to Teasel.

Teasel - Shrimp stew. Shrimping potatoes. I think there's even a shrimp for sex. I'm not quite sure what it means though.

(Trigger begins talking with Roll on the bridge.)

Past Trigger - They're sending me to Vietnam. It's this whole other country. Apparently, a lot of people named Charlie are missing. I've got to go find them.")

(Later, Trigger is in Vietnam.)

Present Trigger - Then, one day, just like that, someone turned off the water.

(A Servbot in army attire walks up and looks into the sky.)

Servbot - Oh, would you look at that.

(The Servbot is blown up and everyone ducks as a battle begins. A rocket is fired and two nearby people are blown up. Trigger turns to that spot.)

Past Trigger - Ow. That had to hurt.

Present Trigger - Then, it felt like something just ran up and bit me. Right in the crotch too. That hurt like hell. And then, Bubba said something that I'll never forget.)

Teasel - I'm… big gay Bubba… and I'm here to say… That you're my bitch… and… -dies-

(In present times, Barrell and a Servbot are gone, but Von Bleucher is there instead.)

Von Bleucher - It was a dog, wasn't it?

Present Trigger - A dog?

Von Bleucher- That came up and bit you in the crotch.

(Back in the past, Trigger is playing Ping Pong.)

Past Trigger - Now, the secret to this game is… never take your eyes of my balls.

(Later, Trigger meets with the president.)

Bola - Now, I understand that you were hit, sir. Where were you wounded?

Past Trigger - In the crotch, sir.

Bola - May we see it?

(An awkward silence follows.)

(Later, Trigger talks to Roll before she gets on the bus.)

Roll - We have very different lives, you know.

Past Trigger - Yeah. You're a hippie and I got shot in the crotch.

Roll - No, I meant…

Past Trigger - That you're a girl and I'm not.

Roll - No…

Past Trigger - I'm gay and you're straight?

Roll - Um…

(Time passes.)

Roll - Florist, why are you so good to me?

Past Trigger - 'Cause you're my bitch.

(Later, Trigger is discharged from the army.)

Present Trigger - And just like that, my service in the United States army was over. So, I went home.

(Trigger is then seen dancing with hookers.)

Present Trigger - I said home!

(Trigger walks up to his house. Then, as Trigger 'pays his respects' to Teasel, he urinates on his grave. Later, during the storm, a legless-Servbot is freaking out.)

Servbot - You'll never get me! It's time for a showdown! You and me! Hahahahaha!!

Past Trigger - Shut the fuck up!!

(As Roll throws rocks at her old house, she falls down and starts crying. Then, the house falls down.)

Present Trigger - I'd pick pretty flowers for her and I'd put them in a room for her. Then, she gave me the best gift anyone could've given me. A spellbook that resurrects the dead. But when that didn't work, she got me shoes. And then, for no reason, I felt like running. I ran for three years and let me tell you. That was the biggest fucking waste of time anyone I know has ever heard of!

(Trigger pauses to rip the fart of the century.)

Present Trigger - Then, I got a letter from Roll, asking if I could come down and see her. And that brings me here.

(Tron smirks evilly.)

Trigger - I don't like that smirk you've got."

(After arriving at Roll's house, Data is put into the living room to watch TV.)

Trigger - He's got a daddy named Florist, too?

Roll - You're his daddy.

(Trigger stands perfectly still began screaming at the top of his lungs. The camera shatters and the parody ends.)

* * *

Next time: The Zero series saves Private Ryan. 


	25. Saving Private Ryan Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #25

A Parody of Saving Private Ryan

By: The Zero series

* * *

(As the parody starts, Omega stumbles towards a flag.)

Omega - Oh snap! Who misplaced a graveyard here?

(As he drops to his knees and stares at the grave, D-Day begins taking place in his eye.)

Omega - The doctor says that it's some kind of problem.

(As the Japanese start mowing everyone down, someone who's wearing a flamethrower for no reason gets shot and combusts.)

Pantheon - -random Japanese gibberish-

(And now, in English.)

Pantheon - That kill was a very saucy to me.

MSX - Hmm… Note to self: Kill translator.

Pantheon - Sir, what's the rallying point?!

Zero - The local White Castle! I'll buy you all a beer once this is over.

(As Zero begins moving, someone is crying for their mother.)

Zero - A little bitch, are we? Put your organs back in your chest, use duct tape, and keep going, God dammit! -looks up- Do this Japs even know about the laws of physics? Where's all this ammo coming from?!

(Moments later, Ciel is trying to save someone's life.)

Ciel - We stopped the bleeding!!

(The man is shot in the head.)

Ciel - No, we haven't!!

(Amidst the gunfire, Phantom is shot in the helmet. He takes it off to inspect it.)

Zero - Lucky bastard.

(Phantom gets shot in the head.)

Zero - Luckier bastard.

(A hot chick is killed and falls on top of Phantom's body.)

Zero - Okay. There's luck, but then there's screwing with people.

God - He he he…

(A few minutes later and Zero throws a grenade into a small crevice. He then runs up to a door and knocks on it.)

Zero - Knock knock.

Pantheon - -in Japanese- Who is it?

Zero - -kicks down door and aims gun- America. -unloads on everyone-

(Later, Zero reads the script from the next scene.)

Zero - Privates Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, and Ryan, huh? Which one are we supposed to save?!

(Clyde walks up and talks to him.)

Zero - Oh… Private Ryan… I get it now. Mister Private 'MIA' Ryan. If we are doing something like this, why didn't we do Rambo?

MSX - Hmm…

(Later, after being reassigned, Zero walks up to Alouette.)

Zero - Do you speak jive, miss?

Alouette - Yo bet yo ass I do! I'm all about the hippity-hoppity music!

Zero - Good. You're with me. Grab your gear.

Alouette - Fo'rizzle!

Zero - And speak English until we arrive.

Alouette - Yes, sir.

(After a few hours, the group reaches as town where Harpuia shoots a sniper in the eye through his scope.)

Harpuia - I have pwned in the name of God once again!

Zero - Shut up! Religion has no meaning in this war!

Harpuia - Okay, then. What would an Atheist say? Ah! He'd say, 'I hate shot a man in the head. I shall now be reborn in the form of a platypus' asshole! Is that better, sir?!

Zero - Yes!

(Minutes later, they reveal a German hideout. For a few seconds, they exchange yells before Zero walks up.)

Zero - The time for talk is over. Now, it's time to pwn.

(Zero unloads an ungodly amount of ammo and kills the Germans. Then, Private Ryan walks up.)

Zero - Wrong Ryan. Leave now before I kill you myself.

(Private Ryan turns around and runs off. That night, Zero talks with Fefnir.)

Zero - Do you know how many people have died under my command?

Fefnir - How many?

Zero - 254. I killed half of them 'cause they wouldn't shut the fuck up when I told them too. Let that be a word of advice to you.

(The next day, the group is shuffling through dog tags.)

Fefnir - Hey, look at this poor bastard.

(Fefnir holds up half of a dog tag.)

Harpuia - Don't make the damn things lightsaber-proof anymore.

(As Zero's hand begins shaking, he puts his hand into his pants as everyone runs off.)

Fefnir - Run for your lives! He's jerking off!

(After being shot, Zero asks a Pantheon what he wants.)

Pantheon - I want… some… hookers… -dies-

Zero - Someone, take this down. Each of us will screw a hooker in his honor.

Everyone Else - Yes, sir!

(After a while, they find Ryan and enter a town.)

Zero - Looks like you guys got hit pretty hard.

Omega - Pretty hard?! There is a wall just sitting there! It's missing the three other walls that go with it! Of course we got hit hard!!

(Another while later, Zero storms out of a building,)

Zero - I'm in the middle of a fucking war and I can't get a Goddamn cup of coffee! Tell me, private. Why is that?

Omega - Well, Hitler _is_ dictator right now.

Zero - Excuses!

(When the Germans begin to approach the group's position, Harpuia begins giving his McDonald's order through sign language.)

Zero - He sees… Two… Big Macs? A Filet-O-Fish? And an M&M McFlurry? What the hell?

(During the attack, two Pantheons drop some Molotov Cocktails on the Germans.)

Pantheon 1 - They must not be alcoholics.

Pantheon - Hahaha. You made a funny.

(After Zero dies, time returns to the present where Omega stands at his grave.)

Omega - I tried living the best life I could. But, that didn't work, so I converted to the dark side. Boy, does crime pay! -walks off-

* * *

Next time: The Battle Network series takes on Metal Gar Rex. 


	26. Metal Gear Solid Parody

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Parody #26

A Parody of Metal Gear Solid

By: The Battle Network series

* * *

(A.N. I have seen Metal Gear Awesome. Some lines from it are so awesome, I'll be using them here.)

(Megaman pops his head out of the water, then places a hand to his temple.)

Lan - Yo, what's up, Snake?

Megaman - It's Megaman. Tell me what I have to do.

Lan - Wait for the elevator.

Megaman - Awesome.

(Megaman waits for the elevator, kills the guards, then begins stripping. He hides behind a large container as he sees Liquid.)

Bass - I'm going to get into this Hind now.

(Liquid flies off.)

Lan - Hey, Snake! Go sneak that shit!

Megaman - Okay!

(Inside the base, Lan calls.)

Lan - Hey, G. If ya want to climb a ladder, ya gotta…

Megaman - Not be an idiot. Thank you. Good-bye. -hangs up-

(Later, Megaman meets Roll.)

Megaman - Move!

(Megaman grabs the naked guy and throws him into the crowd of people, killing them.)

Roll - Look at my ass.

Megaman - Okay.

(Megaman looks at it.)

Megaman - Cool.

(Later, he blows a hole in the wall with C4.)

Guard - What was that noise?!

(A Guard runs up, looks at Megaman, then runs off. Megaman finds Ocelot, but the Cyborg Ninja cuts off his hand.)

Cyborg Ninja - Maybe I can use this for a stupid plot device in the sequel. -teleports away-

Megaman - Okay, now what?

Lan - I gotta, gotta, gotta break the fourth wall!

(Megaman looks at the case and contacts Roll.)

Megaman - Do stuff for me.

Roll - Okay.

(Megaman finds himself face-to-face with a tank and uses his buster to blow it up.)

Megaman - Later!

(Soon after, Megaman is detected and begins running up some stairs.)

Megaman - Oh my God! How many stairs does one base need!

(After reaching the top, destroying the Hind D, and scaling down the building, he runs into Psycho Mantis, who takes over Roll.)

Megaman - backhands Roll- Know your place bitch!

(Megaman shoots at Mantis, who easily dodges it.)

Mantis - Neener, neener, neener!!

Megaman - Dammit! -switches controller ports-

Mantis - I can't read your mind anymore! -dies-

(After going across a minefield, Megaman gets captured.)

Megaman - Screw it. I'll just give in. The hell with the bandana! The stealth module is much better!

(Megaman then fools the guard with some ketchup.)

Megaman - -kills guard- Retard.

(Megaman grabs his stuff, then heads outside where he is shoot by a sniper. Afterwards, she dies and Otacon has a fit.)

Megaman - Where'd you come from?!

Glyde - Don't you remember fighting the ninja?

Megaman - Ninjas?!

Glyde - Ugh… Never mind…

(Later, he fights Vulcan Raven and gets a cardkey.)

Lan - Yo, Snake! Find a warm place!

(Megaman sticks the card up his ass.)

Lan - That's all fine and dandy, but now its' got shit on it.

(Moments later, he fights Metal Gear Rex. He passes out, then fights Liquid on top of it.)

Bass - Good-bye, cruel world!

Medi - An ancient proverb once said…

Megaman - Fuck you and your proverbs too!!

(After a pointless battle with Liquid, he has a heart-attack and dies.)

Megaman - Alright! Bring on the sequel! I'm gonna have some fun with that!

(A long silence follows.)

Megaman - What?

MSX - The pause was for the sequel part and the part that I'm almost positive that I screwed up the order of events. But, I haven't played it in a while, so live with it.

* * *

Next time: All of the series come together for the season finale. 


	27. Season Finale

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Season Finale

A Parody of Robot Chicken

By: The X, Classic, Legends, Zero, and Battle Network series

* * *

(MSX walks onto the stage.)

MSX - Ladies, gentlemen, and creatures not of this world… Prepare to die. That is all.

(MSX walks off stage and the scene changes to a road during a stormy night. A chicken walks across the street, but Trigger runs it over with the Jet Skates. Then, a scientist picks it up and begins laughing. As his back is turned, Megaman waltzes across the screen. Then, as the chicken activates, Phantom peeks down from the upper side of the screen.)

Voice - It's alive!

(The scientist grabs the chicken and runs to the chair, but lowers the chicken when he sees Zero sitting in it.)

Zero - What?

(Zero throws some popcorn into his mouth and turns the TVs on. Megaman.EXE is doing the Numa Numa.)

Zero - Oh God. I hate this channel.

(Zero changes the channel as the theme ends. The scene becomes staticky.)

Zero - Noooooooooooooooooo!! How was that?

X - That was good, but the line was 'Yes.'

(The screen fizzes. Spider is playing Poker with Nana and a Metool. He gets a three-of-a-kind and stands up to attack.)

Spider - I think you'll like this.

Nana - Aw, crap…

(The screen fizzes.)

Announcer - You've just got to get the new game from Capcom, Super Mega Fighter X! With classical match-ups like Ryu vs. X…

(Ryu uses a Hadouken and knocks X backwards. X uses a Hadouken and blows Ryu to pieces. Then, Ninetails jumps in and annihilates him.)

Announcer - Ken vs. Zero…

(Ken uses the Shoryuken and knocks Zero down. Zero draws his saber and stabs it into Ken's chest.)

Announcer - Chun-Li vs. Axl…

(Chun-Li does her Lightning Kick and Axl shoots her, causing her to fall over and bleed to death.)

Announcer - It doesn't get much better than this! And remember, if you don't like this game, you support communism!

(The screen fizzes. Crashman and Snakeman are dressed like the Mario Bros. They look at each other, then at Mattrex.)

Crashman - Yeah, this just isn't gonna work…

(The screen fizzes. Toadman is driving down the street, but swerves when Bass, who's naked, runs across the street.)

Toadman - Oh shit!!

(The screen fizzes.)

Announcer - And now, back to Behind The Music: Keiji Inafune. When he first started up with Capcom, he was addicted to a drug-like substance made from cocoa powder and Pixie Sticks. Due to this condition, Megaman was created.

Inafune - Let's make the little red man go around boom-boom-boom blasting everything in sight then have little weapons that he can use defeat evil geezer save world then go home and take nap!!

Random Guy - Why not make him blue?

Inafune - That's absolutely brilliant! Why didn't I think of that before?! -smashes beer bottle over his head-

Announcer - Due to the drugs, Inafune named everything after musical references. Rockman. Roll. Rush. Bass. Treble. Tango. Enker. Ballade. Forte. After a while, it just got ridiculous.

Random Fan - I just got tired of all the musical references. So, that's why I play the X series instead. There's no musical references.

Inafune - For now… -evil laughter-

(The screen fizzes. The Flutter crashes on Kattelox Island and the Inspector, who's naked, walks up.)

Inspector - Well, you certainly put on quite a show, but it looks like everyone's okay.

(The screen fizzes. Data is doing his dance when two more Datas appear. They continue to multiply until they all suddenly begin Riverdancing. The screen fizzes.)

Announcer - I'm back! And this time, I'm selling a CD!

Data - I'll stab you in the eye with an eggbeater!

Announcer - It's the two-disc set, Data: Threat To Society. Listen to his greatest threats for hours on end!

Data - I insert this spatula so far up your ass, you'll have shit patties for a month!

Announcer - Order now and you'll receive Roll: The Hottest Character In The Franchise, a monthly magazine subscription features naughty pictures of yours truly! And, order two in the next ten minutes, and you'll get this pheasant I killed with my bare hands! Order now!!

Data - I'll fuck your mom in the ass with a razor dildo!

(The screen fizzes and Fefnir, who is in a dress, is flexing his muscles in a mirror. The screen fizzes and Harpuia, seen from the back and who is visibly naked, stands in front of Fefnir, who holds a staple gun.)

Harpuia - Just focus on the target. Concentrate…

(The screen fizzes and Zero kills Phantom.)

Cop - We saw that!

(Zero is thrown into jail, but finds a jackhammer. He drills his way through the wall and poses as the alarm is sounded.)

Zero - Gasp! The Po-Po alarm! -runs off-

(Zero falls off of Alcatraz and is swallowed by a shark. Her is rescued moments later y Bush, who's fishing. He jumps onto the hanger and steals Air Force One.)

Bush - I knew we shouldn't have brought Air Force One.

Cheney - You don't know anything!

Bush - I know…

(Zero runs out of fuel, then crashes in Tennessee, where he's forced to hitchhike with Rednecks. He then runs into a parking lot, attempts to break into a car, gets caught, and winds up in jail again.)

Zero - God dammit…

(The screen fizzes and Megaman.EXE rises out of a coffin, jumps over the edge, and get impaled on some spikes. The screen fizzes again and Bombman is going through a classic Bomberman level. The screen fizzes once more.)

Megaman.EXE - Greetings, I'm Megaman from the Battle Network series. I'm here to point out who I think looks better in the Classic and Battle Network series. First off, Topman. Looks gay in the Classic series, looks old in the Battle Network series. My verdict, give me age over homosexuality any day.

_Classic - 0_

_Battle Network - 1_

Megaman.EXE - Next is Roll. My verdict…

_Classic - 1_

_Legends - 1_

_Battle Network - 2_

Megaman.EXE - They all look hot. Next, Aquaman.

_Classic - 1_

_Legends - 1_

_Battle Network - 3_

Megaman.EXE - True, he's supposed to be all 'cutesy' in Battle Network, but it's better than being gay in the Classic series. Next up, Tomahawk Man, Snake Man, and Ice Man.

_Classic - 3_

_Legends - 1_

_Battle Network - 4_

Megaman.EXE - Tomahawk Man looks cooler in Battle Network by the slightest of margins. Snakeman just looks gay, and Iceman… No comment there. Next, is Glyde, Bass, Zero, and me.

_Classic - 3_

_Legends - 3_

_Battle Network - 6_

Megaman.EXE - Glyde is supposed to be a pompous dick, not my friend. I've also seen the manga. An army of Navis gone in .02 seconds? Give me Bass.EXE any day. Okay, so Zero looks cool in the X and Zero series, but you just can't top the Battle Network series.

(Marino snorts.)

Megaman.EXE - And, me. Megaman is cool. Megaman.EXE is cooler. X is the coolest. But, Megaman Trigger is the ubermeister. You can't stop someone like that.

Trigger - Got that straight.

Megaman.EXE - So, in conclusion, there are good characters who are bad and look like crap. They are bad characters who are good and look like a million bucks. But then there's Bass. You just can't top that. -growl- That does it! I hate this script! -storms off-

* * *

Next time: Just when you thought it was over, MSX discovers the tape with the season premiere from the original season. 


	28. Aftermath II: The Lost Episode

The Random Megaman Parody Show: Second Offense

By: Metal Sonic EX

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Megaman series. Nor do I own anything else that they might choose to make fun of.

* * *

Everyone walked into the studio auditorium and sat down. "What's this all about? We've just ended the second season." MSX turned to look at Trigger. "I know. But, I have an announcement. If you've seen the Family Feud parodies, you know I'm making a third season. However, there will be no more crossover parodies because it screwed up the episodes numerical order."

X blinked. "Okay…" MSX thrust a finger in the air. "I also found out the culprit who stole the series premiere tape." Everyone tensed. They _really_ didn't want to watch it. "The culprit was… him!"

The Dr. Evil theme played as the camera zooms in on Grey, who gives the bird. Zero's jaw drops. "You're game isn't even out yet!" Grey snorted as Ashe walked up. "Maybe, but it will be. And it'll totally rock the socks off of the first game." MSX dropped to his knees. "Amen to that!"

Vent and Aile walked in with Serpent, who was obviously plastered. "What'd we miss?" MSX stood up again. "Nothing really. Gang, say hello to the new editions in _The Random Megaman Parody Show: Third Strike. Coming this fall!_ And, if everyone cooperates, it'll have 100 less screw-ups!"

MSX paused while the remainder of the ZX cast sat down, then he pushed a button and watched as everyone started as they were strapped to their seats. "And now…" MSX paused for laughter. "I present to you, the series premiere of First Impressions!" Everyone's jaw dropped. "Noooooooooooooo!!"

* * *

Series Premiere

A Parody of Looney Tunes

By: The X, Classic, Legends, and Zero series

* * *

(The TV fizzes on and the theme song plays. The setting is a desert and two clouds of smoke run up. First, Phantom jumps in front of the screen and freezes.)

Road Runner

Ninjacticus Gonnadiedenus

(He runs off and Dr. Wily freezes on the screen.)

Wily E. Coyote

Maximus Geezerdus

(The two resume their chase until Wily's shadow becomes a hole and he falls into it A few minutes later, he orders something off of ACME. He opens the cage slowly and a small tornado spins out. Alouette stops and begins slobbering everywhere as Wily raises his eyebrows several times.)

Wily - This is getting good.

(Alouette spins off and comes back with a turkey.)

Data - Get back hewe, asshole! That's my tuwkey!

(Wily shrugs and sits down. Phantom runs by, trips over his leg, and is impaled on a cardboard cactus. Wily looks as at the screen and gives a 'You can't be serious' look.)

Wily - You can't be serious.

(The scene changes as Alouette spins off with Data's turkey. They enter the forest and Data stops. He pulls out a shotgun and begins walking down the path.)

Data - Be vewy, vewy quiet. I'm hunting evewybody. -retarded laugh-

(Trigger hits a button and comes out of an elevator inside a hole.)

Trigger - Eh… What's up, doc?

(Dr. Light, who's dressed like an old lady, hobbles by.)

Dr. Light - Oh, nothing much, sweetie.

(Trigger pulls Data's shotgun and puts it to his temple.)

Trigger - Right there. Right now.

(Data shrugs and goes to pull it, but is stepped on by Axl.)

Axl - Sthorry, but I'm going after ma dinner! -runs off-

Data - You'we not getting of that easiwy! -begins chasing him-

(Trigger shrugs and goes down the elevator again. Axl finds himself inside of an apartment where Harpuia is in a giant cage swinging on a swing.)

Axl - Hello, dinner. -laughs-

Harpuia - Uh oh. I tawt I taw a homosexual!

Axl - You little bastard!

(Axl lunges over the couch and tries gnawing through the cage bars.)

Data - What's going on?

Harpuia - I tink I taw wittwe mousey!

(Iceman walks in.)

Iceman - Soy fuck y soy madre! (Fuck you and your mother too!)

Harpuia - You little bastard!

(Harpuia bites a chunk out of the cage and begins chasing him.)

Data - What the hell is this? Stuart Little?

(Teasel walks in.)

Teasel - Uh… Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo.

Data - Excuse me? Was that Daffy Duck or something? You really need to get a job? I mean, you really need to get a job.

Teasel - But it's my only line!

(Everyone gasps as the camera zooms out to space. Sigma pulls something out of a lunchbox and begins shuffling his feet towards a large laser.)

Sigma - Finally! I can complete my space-modulat… combobulat… flatulant… Eh… My really complex ultimate-death-and-destruction super-powered space weapon!

(Sigma puts in the chip and begins to aim at Earth.)

Sigma - Good-bye, little blue marble of life!

(An asteroid floats in front of it and the laser blows up everything on the moon but Sigma's head. Sigma begins laughing and reforms into his Kaiser Body.)

MSX - Cut! You're supposed to say, 'This could by a minor setback…'

Sigma - Sorry, old habits are hard to break.

MSX - -smacks self- We're so doomed…

(A ring falls down and Ride Boarski pokes his head out of it.)

Boarski - Abidy! Abidy! Abidy! That's all, motherfuckers!!

(The TV becomes staticky.)

* * *

"That was it?" MSX turned to Aile. "Yeah. Why? Were you expecting more from these talentless fruit tarts?" Data began growling and squirming in his chair. "Undo, you bastard! I'll bite you legs off!" MSX chuckled. "I'll let you out… This fall!" Everyone gasped, then through their heads back. "Noooooooooooooo…"

* * *

I'd like to thank those who read/ liked this season and, rest assured, the third season will be released/ finished on time. Otherwise, I might not do a fourth one… Anyways, Read and Review and I'll see you later!! 


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